Past #0176

2.23am: Drank a bottle of sake… hahaha.. blur now.. a bit.. cried a lot just now.. With Nana… Why? I’m sad.. sad.. sad.. depressing… hahahha… Spare me… Why?… I dunno…I cried.. hahahahahha… hahhaha… I miss him.. wahhahaha…. I’m going nuts…

8.46am: *Open up the brain, dig and dig.. throw a chunk of shit away* … wah piang.. why early morning let me listen to this song: “Can’t get you outta my head” *pengz* hahah… hmm.. Okie lah, will throw away everything. I need to focus on my exams already. Can’t treat him normally now, but I’ll really try. *wink* STEADY BOM BI BI!

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Past #0175

Today is JY’s birthday… yah.. then? HAhaha.. nothing lah, just mentioning only. Sigh.. So tired.. Four days never touched any books liao. Tomorrow.. I’m going back to hall, and start my engine. Really have to start. Can’t stop. Till end of exams. Stress? Not really. Dunno why also. Just came back from cousin’s place in Yishun. Today is family gathering bbq. Had a lot of food. Now eating cheese cake. mmm.. OISHII!! oops! =P Never mind lah. ONCE in a while…keke..

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Past #0174

1.08am: Attended my friend’s sister’s wedding.. heehee.. Tho’ I don’t really know her sister. But anyway.. envy? Yah.. kind of but at the same time.. NAH… leave me alone.. I mean, the guys… Can’t trust them.. eeeuukk..

9.07am: I’m amazingly still so tired. Think I’m going to become a pig soon. Hahahah =PP Later gotta go buy Sarah’s present. Buffet Lunch.. Sigh.. No need to go on diet anymore. Never mind lah, once in a while. Furthermore.. Panda or Piggy needs to be round to look cute and huggable right? Heehee.. One year anniversary coming, need some new resolution. Hmm.. *ponder* Change my looks? Cut my hair again? Or dye it? Aiyah.. dunno leh… Headache.. MC asked me changed to Ah Lian’s looks… Eeek… I don’t look like one ah.. Cannot make it. Sigh… *yawn* So hot..

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Past #0173

1.01am: *stabbed knife into heart* ouch.. *put salt onto wound* ouch ouch.. That’s how I’m feeling now lor.. *sob* *sob* Why bother to tell me??? Why? WHy? WHY??? I don’t want to hear anything about the both of you. Spare me PLEASE!!!! PLEASEEEEEEE!!! Let me live my life alone.. *sob*

1.35am: Great! I think I just managed to scare a guy off.. haha.. what can I say? Felt good? NO!!! IT DON’T!!! I FELT LIKE SHIT NOW!!! I really do.. *sob*.. Hahahaha… I think I’m going nuts. *sniff* *sob* D’ling, Spare a thought for me. That’s all I asked for… J.O., I’m sorry. Not that I totally don’t trust relationship anymore. But.. there’s really still that someone in my heart and up till now, nobody can replace him yet. Although a lot of things had happen and he might be a but CMI, I still love him, till now. Can you understand that? Just… HEY GUYS OUT THERE! leave me alone.. especially if I don’t really know you for long..haha.. DON’T you EVER fall for me.. thank you. Your cooperation will be helpful.

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Past #0172

12.19am: Auntie Koh’s birthday today… Dunno why but I’m feeling kinda weird. I’m just afraid… It can’t be true right? sis..

12.06pm: Gives me the creep. Gives me the creep. *shiver* SHIT! hm.. Did I do something wrong again? O.o? Nah.. I’m only treating him like a friend, and nothing else. -.- Nope. Thats IS all. Stop asking. I said nothing means nothing. Just friend. STOP ASKING!!

2.22pm: Its really nice to have someone care for you. BUT… its still a BIG BUT. *thinking of…* *shake head* Never mind.. Just have to stop thinking…trying REAL hard not to. I did. I am still.

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Past #0171

Had quite a lot of fun yesterday night, or.. should I say, this morning. not exactly fun, but something which I long time never been through – Hall Life, Supper. Heehee… Brought some snacks over for my sister, don’t know why, but felt very happy when I saw him. Probably it’s been quite a while since I last saw him ‘cos I’d been so busy recently. Just felt like hugging him, which I did. It’s like, he just came back from overseas. Anyway, we chit chat for a while before his friend (Kuang) brought beer over. Me long time never drank already, realise I can’t drink much. Only less than a cup and I felt a bit gross and a bit giddy. We went to buy supper from Boon Lay market after that. Was going to watch some VCD, but in the end, the notebook couldn’t play, so end up only me and sis stayed in the lounge to watch some stupid ‘Scariest Places on Earth’. Its so funny when you see those people shout over nothing. Hahaha.. Got so sleepy after that, but too lazy to walk back, so end up sleeping in my sis’s room. Very nice sleep, so long never sleep that nice liao. Heehee.. Some more, raining, so weather very nice. *yawn* But woke up a bit early ah. And now trying to finish up my cryptography project.. so can’t sleep =( Alright, gotta go and continue my project. Taz!

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Past #0170

8.41am: I felt so bad… Am I too straight FOrward? I really had no idea what’s wrong with me. I’m so afraid of having feelings for somebody. I’m really so scared.

1.55pm: What will I do…

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Past #0169

12.15am: Finished bathing, now hair very wet. Went to watch American Pie: The Wedding just now. So funny. Nice show nice show. Who I watch it with? Hmm.. someone I knew only on the 14th. Hahaha.. Alright lah, my friend’s friend. Then talked to him through ICQ, can click bah. Very funny guy.

10.00am: The fears came.. and overpowered the feelings. Wow.. it’s overwhelming..

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