2006 coming…

i was listening to this song 幸福车站 by Ocean..
then i look at my calendar…
christmas just passed and new year is coming..
soon chinese new year will come..
i’m wondering what i wanna wear on the first day of chinese new year, then thought of our reunion dinner..
then i thought of last year.. where we drank till our face red red.. or at least one of the days…
missed my goddad…

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crappy updates continued…

ok! i’m back from my lunch!
went to see some accessories just now and WOW.. *blur* there’s so many until i see until @@ and in the end never bought any..

anyway.. where was i…
oh yes! the genting trip. well. i’m done with that.

next! christmas presents! this coming sunday will be CHRISTMAS!!! christmas christmas christmas!! well… i haven’t had much on. only going for the usual christmas lunch with my family. BIG family.

then before that, work was GREAT! hahahhah. guessed what?? i got another pay increment!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!
hahahahaha, happy happy ne! of course happy lah! wasn’t what i was expecting some more!

what else… koon soon got rom liao. then daniel going to be a father. sl.. not as good though..

and the best thing of all, tivela has started digging!!!!

here’s one of the picture i took this morning – 21st of december 2005.
well.. maybe NOT digging yet, but at least it started work…

hm…. wonder when will it be ready.

anyway… just had a talk with my mum last night and.. sigh… next year… i’ve got already 3 known wedding dinner. gosh.. that simply just means money fly away.. kekeke oh well… nothing i can do.

siyan tried her gown liao, haven’t really pick yet lah. not bad. not bad. hopefully next monday she can choose her final dream wedding gown. heehee

oh ya! almost forgot!! i finally saw derrick’s gf! and now i’m waiting to see if i can see cc’s bf! hahahahah =P i’m so KPO. oh well.. what to do… need some entertainment after all this piles and piles of work.

ok lah.. i’m back to rotting first before another pile of work comes in. jya!

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crappy updates

december liao!

well.. when was the last time i wrote… hm… 29 november

i’m happy because i just came back from my genting trip 2 days ago and it was fun! kekeke.. never shop a lot ‘cos there wasn’t enough time. most of the time were spent in casino… which… i did win in jackpot and the roulette. but maybe not so much luck in… whats that… keno? but… was kinda smoky inside. and ya! met one stupid uncle who kept asking me n tao to lend him our phone. stupid uncle! made me scold him before he decided to leave. don’t even know if he got any bad intentions or not!!! anyway, never go to the theme park ‘cos it kept drizzling and tyra was there, so didn’t go. went bowling though. wasn’t able to watch king kong there ‘cos most of the seats were booked!!! (never mind, i’m going to watch this coming saturday on christmas eve!)

and… i’m going for lunch now! will be back for more! gonna go queensway shopping centre to eat MAC and celebrate my colleague’s passing of advance driving theory!

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2006… new year resolution!!!

yeah!! its the time of the year to make new year resolutions and TRY hard not to break it after that!!!

well.. at least i managed to keep one resolution!
SLIM DOWN!! which i did!!! (applause for myself)
lose 6kg in 2 years… gosh.. that was a torture, anyway, i’m so glad i’m back to my normal size again!

so now, i’ll try to keep my resolutions for 2006 again!
and hope i can achieve ALL of it!

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sick of job.. at times

life’s fine. family’s fine. bf’s fine. i’m fine. but my work not fine.

today.. or to be more correct, these few weeks. i’m getting quite sian with the work. not exactly with the work i’m doing. more of… with the whole system. how my company function.

when i first went in, i’m under one person – sl. then subsequently, another guy yf asked me to do things. well, of course i’m ok. learning new things, i’m quite glad to. then after that, they asked me to go do .net, or maybe, i volunteered in a way. anyway.. i’m doing all these things, when another guy hs, start to ask me to do things also. well.. i’m ok, since its within my job scope. so i kept doing these.. till suddenly i’m being asked to go do some new things. which i find it weird but nonetheless, i’m keen on it. and then tada! as suddenly as it comes, right now, i’m not doing the .net, neither am i doing the new thing (which i dun really know what it is yet).

i dunno… sometimes just felt like i’m stuck in a shit hole.
goodness… sian manz… i think i’m having post-pms.

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people just don’t change… i guessed…

1 year.. 7 months..
he changed..
and he changed again.. back again.. i guessed..
well.. people don’t just changed so easily.. thats what i deduced..
for a period, he’s really gentle and patient with me.
well… what to do.. i’m kinda blur.. to a certain extend.
and we talked in frequency, so all the more, we have some problems in communication..
for quite a while, he’s really quite patient with me..
slowly explaining to me what to do, not with the “bu nai fan” kinda tone..
it seems like.. i asked him to go and sleep is wrong.
i kept him up is also wrong..
gosh.. tell me what to do and what ought not to do..
i’m really confused.

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lonely nights….

its just… ONE week…
sigh.. and i can feel so much difference…
the week seems so long…
so difficult to pass…
i sat in front of my pc.. its only 11.15pm..
i think for this whole week.. i hardly had the chance to really talk to him..
he always seem so tired…
where got energy to talk..
ya i know.. i can understand how tiring it is to work.. after all..
i worked for a year liao..
but then.. its not SOOO bad right?….
i mean.. i used to still able to tong and talk to him till 12+ lor…
then.. i dunno lah…
felt a bit neglected… not during office hours, definitely..
that one i can really understand…
but then its the after get home ones…
i stopped hearing those lovey dovey words….
all i’m hearing are heavy breathings.. complaints… work-related stuffs..
made me feel so tired also…
tomorrow we celebrating out 1 year and seven months anniversary…
i just hope his tiredness doesn’t spoil anything..
he’s bringing all his tiredness into this relationship..

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what have i done? or not done? i really dunno… what’s the problem? why aren’t we communicating? why is it that you always can’t seem to grasp what i’m trying to say?? or is there really something wrong with my language? the words i used? and why do i always do things that seems to make you so unhappy? why why why???

my mind’s messed up. i looked at you, i dunno what i can or can’t do. for everything that i do, it just seems to be wrong. and what’s worse? you dare not even speak your mind? when has that start to happen? hasn’t i always been saying “got anything just tell me”, or is that too difficult to understand? do i bite? or do i kill? no.. probably i’ll just bite ya arms off and let you suffer. i’m just too scary.. ain’t i…. a monster in disguise.

i’m burn out.. almost… i really am, i can feel it. at this point. i am BURNed out. why do i always feel that i need to fend everything on my own? i have to be strong. i can’t be weak. i can’t collapse even when i’m dying. why do i always have to look bright and cheery even though my day could be so sucky and tiring. why why why???

why does a day only have 24 hours? pity ya parents… why do you have to use the word ‘pity’? goodness.. for goodness sake! do i seem like such an uncaring and heartless person to you?? can’t you just TELL me in a nicer way instead of saying “people also have parents”. you just don’t seem to understand. you just don’t seem to get it. for all the things that i’ve been trying to tell you. for anything that i said, you hold on to it and stick to that and never will that statement that i made ever ever change anymore… why why why???


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