still at work…

its 8.32pm. i’m still at the office.
*yawn*
i wanna go back and watch the “yin cha yang cuo”
how… *sob*

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幸福的傻瓜

i’m a 幸福的傻瓜…

tao tao coming to meet me for lunch today! *yippee*
actually, really fortunate to have him as a boyfriend and fh
tho’ sometimes (maybe quite a lot of times), argued with him
but he’s a really nice person, too straight sometimes thats all
anyway, he’s a lot better than a LOT of people
wahahhahahahaha
and SoOOOOOOOOOo CUTE! *whistle*

well, went to see our future last weekend and heehee *so happy*
planning… planning… planning…

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Convict me if i’m a sinner

thats all i’m asking for…
if what i did is really such a sin so unforgivable…
convict me…
give me a death sentence…
i won’t blame you…
‘cos no matter how unintentionally…
or any reasons that i gave…
i still did it…
so…
convict me…

else…
forgive me totally and let me start afresh…

please don’t…
don’t ever remind me of the past…
for its mental torture…
what am i to say?…
sorry?
if sorry could solve things so easily, it would already…
for i think i would had already repeated a hundred times…
or do you just want to remind me of the hurt i caused you…
which in turn i caused to hurt myself…

i’m already trying…
can’t you see…
*sob*

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i’m getting old… i’m getting more n more fussy…

really.. its true i’m getting old and fussy. don’t understand sometimes why i this and that also cannot. say this, do that also cannot. everything like also cannot. really getting old? or getting old and having more n more principles and dignity. used not to be this way…

sigh…

dunno is this a good thing or bad thing. aiyah.. i mean of course not lah…

sigh.. “old & fussy”
maybe thats where it came from… hahaa.. years of experience…

but… am i wrong to seek help only if we really need help and not everything also seek?
sigh..

i no longer know how to decide which is which already.. ‘cos everything i do seems wrong..
*sob*

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all my friends are 猪朋狗友

ya.. i’m pissed… of course i am
not that i like to protest and fight back when i heard something that i dun like
and NOT that i really have a lot of things that i dun like to hear
but HELLO!!!! can you just be a bit less negative??

to say something like “must be all ya 猪朋狗友 lah”
ha… what does that mean?
its a BIT mean lor!!
have i ever said this kinda this to you?
all is it that my friends are really like my 猪朋狗友?
are they really that bad?

“don’t wait till something happened then you regret”
oh great! all my friends are going to 陷害 me!
come come! rescue me! and let me cut off from all my friends!

=.=’

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我会学着放弃你,是因为我太爱你…

我会学着放弃你,是因为我太爱你…

this is one sentence i took from Jay Chou’s song – An1 Jing4. (listening to it now…)
its a nice song, a really nice one and i like it a lot.
i find that it applies to my life and probably a lot for others.
sometimes its really because you love someone so much, thats why you chose to give up.
why?
because you can’t bear to let them person choose, can’t bear to let them suffer ‘cos its really hard to make a decision sometimes, so maybe you would rather choose to leave. and then live happily so that they won’t be worry.

is that how things are suppose to go? hm.. i duno..
i’ve… been through it…
but…
don’t let me go through that again…

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all about YOU

MCFLY LYRICS
All About You

[Danny:]
It’s all about you
([Tom:] It’s about you)
It’s all about you, baby
([Tom:] It’s all about you)
It’s all about you
([Tom:] It’s about you)
It’s all about you

[Tom:]
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile ‘It’s all about you’
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say ‘If you make my life worthwhile, it’s all about you’

[Danny:]
And I would answer all you’re wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don’t know what I’d do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it’s all about you.
Yeah…

[Solo]

[Danny & Tom:]
And I would answer all you’re wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don’t know what I’d do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile…
It’s all about you.

[Danny:]
It’s all about you
([Tom:] It’s about you)
It’s all about you, baby
([Tom:] It’s all about you)
It’s all about you
([Tom:] It’s about you)
It’s all about you

———————————————————————–
i can listen to this for the WHOLE day!!!
suddenly i felt so fortunate *wink*

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yellow joke… whahahah

3 sperms were talkin to each other.
1st: i want to be a doctor
2nd: i want to be an artist
3rd: stop daydreaming. if this bastard masturbates, we all die!

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silent sadness & sianness

i finally told tao tao how sad i am, still, over the death of my goddad…
but i still had to smile ‘cos today is Mothers’ Day (happy mothers’ day). and his family was about to take photos and cut the cake. anyway… i shouldn’t spoil anyone’s mood just because i’m still sad right?
probably not even tao tao…

he sent me home just now.
sent me to my door, then he went home…
i didn’t really wanna persuade or psycho him more to stay over. although i could have. but why would i want to. if he really wanted to, he would already even if just by me asking that few times which i did.
disappointed? ya, probably but i wouldn’t complain. he has his own things to do also. but maybe more sad and disappointed than usual ‘cos… kinda wanted him to accompany me tonight.

can’t let myself idle. can’t let my sianness and sadness show…

i’ll go play neopets now.

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stupid rashes

i’ve been getting those stupid rashes again for the past few days. *sick*
wonder if its the stupid body or the stupid weather *extremely sick*
ITS SO ITCHY!!!!!!

i’m going out! *bleh*

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05 05 05

today is 050505 = 5th may 2005 and its my tao tao’s birdday!!!
and i’m so tired. kekeke.. but its alright ‘cos its definitely worth it to wake up early in the mornin and go to his house to pass him his present and see his surprise and happy look!

bought him a swatch watch. whats that called.. irony watch? O.o? hahahaha
forgotten lah, anyway, its those chain ones. he never bother to wear any watch so bought him one, so that he can wear it if he go for any interviews. looks more presentable. heehee..

then sent him a birdday card yesterday, with 25 bright post-it tab with all the kisses on it. hmm.. suddenly felt that actually i’m quite creative huh? :p waahhahahaha and thick-skin too!!!

wahahahha.. WHO CARES!! *blahhhhhhh*
i LOVEEEEEEE myself SOOOOOOOOOOOoo muchiE!!

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the one! the one? the one… THE one. the ONE.

just had an overseas chat with one of my friend last night. he said he’s a loser. oh well, i quite agree with him :p hm.. he asked me if i’m happy, asked if i found THE ONE. i told him i gave up on fairy tales 2 years ago. there’s no such thing as “THE ONE”. i dun seek for “THE ONE” anymore, i choose someone as “THE ONE”. i’m happy. but i’ll tell the story next time. my life story.

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