END of JUNE 2005

29th of June.
how time past, pass, passes.. passed.. ya?
hm.. i’m quite bored now. finished all my things. sally and a few others in a meeting. me? hm… staring at the PC, don’t feel like doing anything. nothing much to do or surf anyway.

woke up today, had wanted to go to the gym. i DID wake up, at 6.15am. went to brush my teeth and washed my face. went into the room to wake my sis up (who offered to send me to the gym the night before), but she replied “dad sending you there, me not going early.”

1. first thing that got me decided not to go gym – my sis is still sleeping. *envY*

went into my own room, sat on the bed and *yawn*. nice weather. nice to sleep.

2. second thing that got me decided not to go gym – nice weather. good to sleep.

3. final thing that got me decided not to go gym – i shldn’t bother my dad and let him send me there right? hahah

thats it. i called my dear and told him i’m very tired and he asked me to go and sleep. yeah! approval from my dear! =P

that’s my morning of today. heeheehee…
hm.. and just realised i can insert pictures inside.. but me ain’t got much pics in the office. so.. let’s just test test my beloved sister’s photo! heeheehee

nice? thats a picture of my sis taken in australia.. somewhere.. last yr? if i rem correctly. hm.. ain’t too bad huh. she went to aust to find my cousin. sigh.. me also want to go… *sob*

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no claiming of cab fares unless after 8.30pm

well, this is the new rule i heard the first thing i came into the office this morning, not long ago. it didn’t really affected me much ‘cos i hardly stayed back so late. BUT still…

“WHO IS THAT PERSON WHO ALWAYS TAKE CAB BACK AND SPOILED THE WHOLE MARKET!!”

must be the claiming of the cab fares too high liao.. heard some of them, they claim till $100++. goodness… no wonder there’s the new rule… sigh.. what to do… just gimme more $$ and that will do. wahahhahha. =P

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shock + funny + fortunate

just got a call from “Home” just now. thought my mum wanted to tell me about change of plans tonight or what ‘cos she will be going out for dinner tonight. who knows, when i picked up the phone, its my dear on the other side of the phone. hahahaha. was kinda shock that i heard his voice. ‘cos i just sms him to ask where he is, since so late liao he still haven’t reach home. ah… now i know where he is. kekekek

well, its kinda funny lah, that he will buy food for my mum and bring to my house. its not the first time already. or at least… its funny ‘cos none of my previous bf had done it before when i’m not at home. at most together with me. its kinda sweet actually. no wonder my mum likes him so much. he’s cute lah. kekekeke and he really can take good care of elders, so much better than me.

guess i’m really fortunate to find a guy like him. tho’ his temper might be a bit short, plus a bit possessive and gets jealous quite easily, and probably just a bit more sarcastic than most people. but oh well.. i can overlook all these =D for that childlike character, tenderness and care and of course the love that he gave me *wink*

heehee.. i’m not perfect either anyway. wahahahahhaha =P *blehhhhhh*

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Ms Boring

gosh.. this is killing me.. *strangle myself*
i guess i rather be busy than bored… *strangle myself some more*
darn.. i really got nothin much to do after clearing those works.
i tried to clear some of the codes.. but there isn’t much to clear anyway
wanted to install 3ds max, but it needs win xp *phui*
checked the forum, and there isn’t much to see
gotten flat. confirmed project will be carried out.
designed. more or less. the rest gotta wait till…. *can’t see the starting point yet*
what else? wedding? wahahahha. i’ll wait till my boy boy propose to me first.
wahahahahah *evil grinone BIG carrot!*
what’s next.. i think thats about all right?
my salary? $$$$$ not sure how it will be. never heard anything YET *sulk*
bintan trip!! latest! but gotta ask boy boy first! *happy happy*
missed the greeneries and the beach!
then i need to start training and slim down my tummy liao! awahahahahha *whistled*
last but not least… 40 more minutes…
heeheehee.. to going off work…
and to meet my boy boy for steamboat buffet! woho~

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quadruplets? *shock*

i had another dream last night. not sure why also. but anyway, i dreamt of me n tao tao, then i’m pregnant, and then suddenly the babies are out. BABIES, yes.. BABIES.. not one, not two, not three BUT FOUR!!! four little boys… hmm. then i still can remember carrying them.. which.. i think each carried two, then go my parents’ house and they were so shocked when they saw it. so after that, was busy always carrying them ‘cos sometimes they were crying. i can even see their face. the eldest one is the smartest, really handsome, the eyes like me, and the nose like tao tao. then the youngest one is the cute cute one. then i can even feel it when i was carrying them. just that it felt a bit weird, ‘cos it seems a bit too soft and light. hahahaha (i think i was hugging my bear bear while i was dreaming of that). anyway.. the last thing i can remembered is… i went nuts. wahahahhahahha

~the end~

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jelly-liked snakes

i had a very weird dream last night. i dreamt of my family and me walking in some sort of desert like or sea area, with sand and a bit of water. ain’t sure where we were heading to but as we step onto the shallow water, we saw this jelly-liked snakes in green, thats about 6 cm long, and swimming around us. there weren’t a lot but as we walk further, there’s more and more and when the water became even more shallow till there’s only sand, u can practically see the snakes like melting, and just a puddle of slimy slimy thingy on the sand. *gross* what am i dreaming anyway…

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it takes fate to meet, destiny to fall in love and courage to commit……

i’m going nuts… really…
i’m going nuts…
get the flat? or no?
why am i so scare of taking another step towards marriage? wasn’t i suppose to be happy? but why am i backing out now? i’m getting so stress out i couldn’t eat. i even felt scare when i’m with him? why? its me right? i’m quite sure its me… and its not the first time i’m having that. should i really consult a doctor? hm…

i was really happy at first.. but why is it so?
why why why? am i respecting him as my bf, and future husband?
i need someone to protect me, to dote on me, to cheer me up when i’m down, to pull me up if i fall. can he do it?
gosh.. why am i doing all these only now? *sob*

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sometimes when we touch

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I’d rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
In what you say or do
I’m only just beginning
To see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all it’s strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I’m just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I’d like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I’d like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you
And I’ve watched love pass you by
At times I think we’re drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold ya till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Subsides

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till death do us part…

counting at the no. of people who left us…
my godfather 12th march 2005
simon’s mother 24th april 2005
and now sista’s grandpa… 13th june 2005…

this year… on my birthday, as well as father’s day… its my godfather’s 100th day..
“Happy Fathers’ Day, Kai Ye”

for once in my life… i think Death came to a certain area at a certain time and takes them all away…

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when i cross that line.. where will it lead me to?

so how? ready to cross that line?
should i? or should i not?
i can’t see anything beyond that. and maybe its cos of that and that’s why its so tempting.
the CURIOUSITY

so how? decided? or still deciding?
*puzzled*
*lost*
i’m staying stagnant. am i?
gosh…
can’t think..

maybe.. maybe i wanted to be a small girl
back to becoming a small little girl, just waiting for some commands from mum to do something, and not to do something.
so where do i go from here?….

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unexpected sudden change of events

i only lost touch with the dc people for a while and alas! i’ve got so much NEW juicy NEWS!

(1) clarise ger is still working there (expected, not sure of the extended story yet ‘cos apparently she got quite a bit of long story to tell.

(2) daphne is back in dc as an AGENT! woho~ congrats!!!

(3) ao quitted. not sure why. will try to get some news out from clarise the next time i meet her.

(4) jc quitted. by right should be terminated. guess here also got story which again, i’ll hear it from clarise.

and the MOST unexpected thing….

(5) audrey is PREGNANT!!! and with shawn’s baby!!!! shawn… you know who right??? one of the agent! gosh! that was really unexpected ‘cos i thought they only friend friend with each other. but according to my ger, apparently audrey broke off and got attached with shawn in feb (Lord knows how that happened also, both incident), and then tada!!! woho~ congrats too!!

well… i’m being a bit KPO here. but.. hahaha.. oh well.. isn’t life about all these??? 😛

hope to see clarise soon!!
and maybe the upcoming baby… yinping’s!! *wink*

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tired of life

i’m tired of life. i love my life. but i’m tired of it. i’m tired of needing to care so much.
just some words from a friend, and then.. somehow, the second half of my day is gone. wonder if its really my fault to say that. “i’m not going cos i sick. but if jason going, then let me know, i’ll go.” just a sentence similar to that and if that could make someone pissed off. so be it. i don’t care anymore. i’m sick and tired of caring so much for the people around me. i’m sick and tired of talking to anyone anyway. i’m sick and tired of talking to people with pms. can i just stick with my family and thats it?
family = my relatives + my dear & family

“how can i be compared to that?”

well… he is my dear, who is always there for me. how can he not be compared to you if i really want to? *puzzled*

guys… what the heck!

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