About Women de Loft

24 July 2013

2.5 years had passed since I started this blog. Now, this place had become both my haven and a place for me to learn more about myself. Looking back, I’m glad I started it back then. I guess, sometimes, things happened for a reason.

Life had been good and so much better for the past years. And with the arrival of my precious baby, little milkie, a year ago, she had kept me real occupied, both mentally and physically.

I love her to bits. I love my family. I love my life. Life’s never been better…

Love, .La

From “Jerry Maguire”: You had me at “hello.”


26 December 2010

I created this website, Women de Loft, on the 26 December 2010. It was a cloudy day. m

Earlier on, I wrote and sent out an email. An email which I don’t wished to send, an email that will probably change my whole life, an email which I hope I will not regret, an email which will make me lose something really special and precious to me…

Somehow, at that moment, I felt that I don’t have a choice. Life just doesn’t seem fair especially when I found what I wanted but had to let it go. I started to wonder why… and I felt that life suddenly seems so meaningless… I felt alone…

That’s when I created this.

For the past 30 years of my life, I had been living a rather happy life with setbacks, and decisions that I made and never regretted till now. I made this decision because there weren’t any other options. It was beyond what I can do, without going against my own morals. So this is the best I can do – to wait patiently for a miracle to happen. And while waiting and praying, I shall share my thoughts and things that I had learned, in Women de Loft.

Lastly, someone told me that a long time ago – live your life, love your life. You only live once…

Love, .La


From “A Lot Like Love”: There’s nothing better than a great romance to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

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Starting Anew?

It’s the end of the year again. Tomorrow, it’ll be the Christmas eve. 2010, hasn’t been really that great a year for me, to be honest. It’s probably a year, filled with conflicts within myself, and a year that seems like a deja vu… to 2006. I don’t understand why is this happening but it happened, and the damages are all done…

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Stupid Me

Sometimes I felt so stupid… I tried so hard to pull myself out, only to got myself in again, and then to realise that I wasn’t really that wanted… Why do I always like to kill myself?… Ain’t I being hurt enough?…

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I don’t know what I’m crying anymore… It just flow out on its own and then my mind went clouded out. I can’t control my emotions or maybe was it that I controlled it too much. I can’t help it. I just couldn’t stop crying… It simply hurts too much, I don’t know why………………. *CRY* Can someone help me…………………………. I’m dying…… I felt bloody sad but I already accepted the fact so what am I sad for??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so tired. I’m so exhausted. I really feel like dying…

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I’m Crying

What have I done wrong? I got a call, and then the person on the other end just started yelling at me. He’s pissed. Pissed because he couldn’t change anything. Pissed because I was the one who helped him change that. Pissed because I didn’t volunteer to do it for him initially. These are my faults. Is it really?…

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Pain, Is In The Head

I couldn’t sleep much at night. Been having gastric pains for the past few days. Must be either I ate too much or too little one of the days for the past weeks. But what is pain? It’s all inside your head, isn’t it? As long as you stop thinking about it, it won’t affect you. That goes the same for any kind of pain.

No more tours. Nothing to look forward to. It seems weird. KL? Phuket? China? Hmm… What will be, will be. What is yours, will be yours.

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Mummy… It’s Over…

Be it the holidays, or anything… seems like it’s coming to an end. Sad? Yes, of course it will be… How can I not be sad? But as reluctant as I am, I know it’s time to be back to reality. I have to bring myself back. All that is left… are the memories… Sweet, nice, definitely… I’ll be happy. At least, I’ll try to be…

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Reversed Thoughts

I just bathed. Cleaned. My mind is calm. I had an urge to write. Write about my thoughts and feelings. To recall the things happening for the past few days, weeks, months… in the reversed way.

I read a blog. Someone’s blog. “Suicidal”, is the title of one of the entries. I read some of it. The more recent ones. I found parts of the contents a little familiar. I felt rather ashamed. But yet, a pang of jealousy at some. I’m better at controlling my thoughts, feelings and emotions now. I am in control, at least at this point. I get worried, though, why should I? I get jealous, though, why should I? And then on the other hand, I don’t really care, though, I should. It’s getting all mixed up but yet, I’m balancing it now. I am learning, to balance things now.

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