Ramblings #1085

12.14am – There he goes… leaving me awake. And he can really sleep fast, snoring almost immediately…

12.54am – Huh? Added payee? I didn’t even login at this time!

1.03am – Luckily I managed to recall that I DID have another account with this bank. Otherwise, it might probably cause some issues. And I’m glad my partner replied. *LOL*

1.53am – Just when I could finally sleep, a stench of urine smell hit my nose and I’m like O.O”’ The diaper had overflowed.

8.42am – Poor little milkie. Due to the poor quality of her sleep last night (which got disrupted by the puke and changing of diaper & clothes), and thus the auto-waking up half an hour earlier, she tried to run back to the car again. But sigh… can’t let her get used to crying and bringing her home. That will make her do it again. Let’s hope the teachers treat her well… I’m so glad it’s Friday already.

11.13am – Hmm… looks like I can’t get my things from Uniqlo today. Need to change plan. Need to change plan.

11.36am – Do you know the purpose of a template? It basically is to standardise all the contents and format inside that document. What is the point, then, of a template, IF you happily go and change the colours, fonts, format and all inside the template? Then I might as well do without it.

I don’t understand. Is this such a difficult “rule” to follow? Why do I have to constantly battle with people of such minds?

I don’t like my job. It doesn’t have much meaning. Really. But it’s so near to where I stay, so much so that I try to ignore the monetary portion. Sigh… endure… endure… endure…

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1.52pm – Feeling sleepy again after a heavy lunch. Took a fat and ugly passport photo of myself. Bought the envelopes. And on top of that, I got some heart shaped glitters (got attracted by that 30% discount) and the background cards for my flash cards! Well, well, well, the busy mum is again full of ideas but lack of energy to execute everything. And the blogs are all suffering because of that! I can’t let that happen!

Little milo, little milo, would you come out earlier, like in March? Please give me some signs if you really do for I need to handover quite a bit of things, especially at work.

2.49pm – Wow… little milo… do you have to kick me until so hard?

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Thoughts – Byeeee… Mai Po. May You RIP.

It was just seconds ago before I hung up on the phone with my mum, and then my sister messaged me to tell me that her godmum passed away this morning…

Naturally, I was surprise for my mum never say anything when she’s the one who called my sister and told her about it. Probably it’s because I couldn’t go down to the funeral anyway…

Chinese New Year is just less than a week and yet the elder can’t pull through it. And it seems like it’s always the case – when a big event is coming, if you can’t make pass it, you can’t make pass it.

An elder whom I knew since young. My sister’s godmum, my grandfather’s younger sister. There’s definitely going to be some impact on the family, for we are rather close with them. It’s a tad sad that she’s unable to celebrate this Chinese New Year, really…

I mean,… she will be missed, and hope she can finally rest in peace, and be without all those pains.

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That was her last birthday celebration last year. Her children had held it for her, fearing that she won’t get to live much longer due to some sickness. It wasn’t a very big event, but there were a lot of warmth and laughter. Though I won’t be able to attend your wake, may you rest in peace, mai-po. Amen.

~ “Gone but not Forgotten” ~

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Ramblings #1084

7.01am – Meeting. Meeting. What kind of meeting is this? Why do they need to set it so early?

7.32am – Ah… It’s so funny when little milkie totally didn’t response to my calling when I wake her up. Looks like half an hour DOES make a big difference. I’m glad I made her sleep earlier last night. Or else it could have been worse.

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7.57am – THAT is definitely a look that says “STOP DISTURBING ME”. *LOL* And she was stoning with her mouth opened just a while ago. So funny…

8.16am – Oh my, I can’t believe I’m so early at work. *Yawn*

12.15pm – Yes! Got some good news again! And looks like we can proceed on with our next plan! Join the clan! Anyway, looks like the luck of those born in the year of dog is getting better! *LOL* Meanwhile, let me clear some errands after my lunch first. I’m so freaking hungry after skipping my breakie this morning, I swear I almost fainted.

12.36pm – Gee… of all places, I can only get that size from the branch in Ion. Takes a week to transfer to the branch here? By then, Valentines’ day and Chinese New Year would be over. Hmm… now… I need to think how to get down there to grab that nice shirt for the lil’ hub…

1.18pm – Goodness gracious! My colleague and I just finished our lunch (teppanyaki) like an hour ago, and now we are at Long John’s sharing a set of meal because we are both craving for it! It’s a time to celebrate and get fat!!

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3.54pm – Expensive pineapple tarts surely doesn’t equates tasty ones. Are you craving for some now (suddenly thought of a friend far away…)? *LOL* Gee, I’ve been eating so much, I hope little milo won’t have another burst of weight increase next Saturday!

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Ramblings #1083

9.13am – There it was, on the sofa. I saw it before I left it there, and I did consider twice before I left it there. Still, I left it there, thinking that it wasn’t important. Somehow, it does matter, not to me, but to little milkie. As I saw her wailing, and trying to get back to her grandma’s house to get the rubber band that she had chose so carefully in the morning, I can’t help but feel so incompetent. Have I failed as a mother? To miss out such details when I do actually know her characters. What was I thinking? Why didn’t I just take that rubber band with me? Just a small little rubber band…

And what happened to all of those things that I had planned for her and myself. Where has it gone?

Once again, the feeling of loneliness crept over me, as I fight on my own against all odds. And I find myself getting stuck in the middle, or else getting the blames. All those responsibilities appear to be on me, and me only… Making sure that little milkie sleeps earlier at night. Don’t let little milkie watches too much Youtube. Bring little milkie back to our house and sleep. Don’t give her other food while she’s taking her meals. And blah… and blah… and blah…

Why… do I seem to be… doing this… alone? No, I love little milkie, and I love to know that little milo is joining our family soon. I love these responsibilities but I guess at times, I would love to have some help just by them (a.k.a. the people around us) not going against what I would love to do/achieve. And of course, an understanding lil’ hub. That would really be a great breather. Really great.

It’s only February but yet a lot of plans had been disrupted. OR maybe I had planned it oh so wrongly, never considering the load that I’m carrying at the moment. Setting up an unrealistic goal that’s too high for me to reach. Energy depleting way too fast than I had expected. Such that… everything seems to be in chaos at this moment. And the suddenly arrival of the flu bug caught me off guard and left me procrastinating things for a few more days.

Where am I to go from here now, when that “leave me alone” feeling is coming?

1.32pm – After a heavy yummy lunch and clearing a list of errands, looks like my mood has gone better! All I probably need now is some peace and quiet, if only I could get them, from somewhere. I wonder if it’s alright for me to go into a meeting room and do some work there instead of here in these noise. Hmm…

1.42pm – Okay, never mind. I shall stay here out in the open, with my headphone on. BLAST THE MUSIC!

1.54pm – Little milo, ganbatte with mommy! ^^

2.07pm – Doesn’t look like the luck is with those born in the year of monkey today. Shall try to keep as low profile as possible.

4.55pm – Hmm… yes, avoid getting into other people’s business. I’m trying to but why keep on letting me see things that I probably shouldn’t? Just saw her coming in with her eyes all red after an hour of disappearance to don’t-know-where. Asked her and she told me not to prompt her more for she won’t be able to control the tears. That further confirmed my suspicions on her and that T guy. Especially after she posted on her FB with a picture that says

“Too busy” is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them.

~ Mandy Hale

Yes, it’s true. And yes, it’s true. And yes again, you shouldn’t tell me for I’ll repeat the same thing which both you and I know. I just hope you can wake up from your dreams, eventually, before you get hurt too much or something bad really happened.

6.01pm – It truly is important to make sure that the older children are not being neglected when a younger one is born (or going to be). As I took out the box sent by the Great Eastern Insurance for the SG50 and opened it up, I could see the glow from little milkie’s face. She must be wondering, why are all these things for the little brother… only?

And so one by one, piece by piece, she took it out. I knew she wanted some of it but she didn’t ask me directly. All she did is ask, “why is it for baby’s use?”. I mean, of course, it doesn’t really fit her (the mittens and bootees etc. Thus, when she took that bib out, I simply asked her if she wanted that, and if she did, she can take it.

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My over-age SG50 baby

A lot of times, I guess the older child(ren) is being somewhat neglected when the younger one is born. Even if not neglected, the attention is being shared by the younger one. As much as the adults need to adjust, children need that too.

Little milkie, mommy can’t promise that I can give you all the attention that you required, but I will try to, as much as possible, like what I’m doing now. And don’t worry, mommy will always loooooove you! MUAK!!

10.24pm – She’s finally asleep after that half an hour of interesting topic with her. The difference between a gynae, a pediatrician and a dentist. And she’s so amused when I told her that her grandpa dare not visit the dentist for the fear of getting his last few teeth plucked out -.-”’

Nonetheless, it feels really nice to chat with her. I felt like I can almost pass all my knowledge to her as she grew older. And I’m really kind of glad that she’s so curious in everything. Though it gets somewhat tiring at times to need to explain everything and anything. Ah… love this little kid to bits! Let’s hope things will remain the same when little milo is out.

Goodnight!

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Ramblings #1082

9.23am – Back at the office, feeling drowsy. The brain definitely isn’t functioning. Both lunch kakis aren’t available so looks like I’ll have to search for my own later on. Well, that doesn’t really matter except that I only feel like sleeping and walking around with the load nowadays ain’t as easy as few months ago.

11.41am – When man gets petty, then it’s time to totally ignore them. Do you think I have no idea how to play the cold war? Yes, it’s true that I’d never played before. Go on and try. You are totally cut off, you idiot! I’m only that bit away from actually clicking that “Block” button.

3.54pm – Done for the day. I’m done for the day. I have no more energy despite the piles of sh*t. Week 31, another 6 more to go, at the very least. Hang in there…

5.08pm – Half an hour more to go but it’s so unbearable. And the chafing of the inner thighs is so irritating. Looks like I’ll have to wear tights more often. I AM SO SLEEPY! Sigh…

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5.35pm – Nostalgic to see that this still exist. I thought it has gone extinct, like so many others. Gee… I feel so old…

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Thoughts – Boss, Are You THERE Yet?

I just had a chat with this colleague just now. Wrong, more of letting her vent out her frustrations, for I can see the level going up to her neck soon, that left her tired and sick. And so, I discovered more information about her relatively new project manager, and of which, I suspected that’s the case when I saw her doing HIS work.

Yes, I never said it wrongly. He’s the project manager, and yet she’s the one looking through the proposals and writing the project plan. It’s weird, definitely. I mean, though I didn’t have a long history of being a project manager, I did go through quite a bit of pain for that year or so in and liaising with the government sector (which is definitely a good training ground for writing lots and LOTS of documents).

Worse still, that team has got a team member who used to be of higher ranking than this new project manager. And so, he wasn’t convinced that this new boss is capable enough. Especially when the new boss never demonstrate that indeed, he is better!

How to work in a team such as that?

I have no idea. Personally, I ended a job of 6 months because I needed someone who can guide me and bring me to a higher level, instead of sweeping everything under the floor. That’s one of the reasons why I left.

What would you do? If you don’t find your boss competent enough. In fact, you probably can do better.

Sigh, anyway, let me help her a little by reviewing that SOW from that xxx company.

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Ramblings #1081

10.08am – It’s Thursday today, and I have an urge to bury myself in my blogs, and let the accumulated water flow out without any restrain.

The morning had been peaceful thus far, with little people around in my department. I did wonder for a moment if I missed any meeting again earlier on, but scrap that idea off after I saw my admin coming in.

Continue reading “Ramblings #1081”

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Thoughts – Li Chun, 4 Feb 2015

So here we are, start of a “new year” based on I’m-not-too-sure-what calendar. Nonetheless, according to astrology, it’s already the new year, instead of the Chinese New Year that is on the 19 Feb 2015 stated on the calendar. And what are you supposed to do on this day again, every year? Yes, wear red and deposit money. Better to believe it than missed it!

So here’s the chart that had been circulating around these 2 days, and of which I’d seen and received quite a few times via my Facebook and Whatsapp.

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I’m expecting a long queue later. I just hope that it’s not going to be very long. Anyway, it’s the start of a new year, so be aware that luck’s going to change.

For myself, I’ll have to keep on remind myself not to interfere too much in other people’s business, i.e. don’t be KPO. And at the same time, not to procrastinate and focus on the things that I want to do (which again, is one whole list). Lastly, to manage my finance better, which I’m definitely trying to but there just seems to be so many things that requires money here and there.

Well, life still goes on and I’m glad my 2015, according to JY, ain’t going to be too bad. I’ve got my directions all marked out in my cubicle and am ready to receive a satisfying and fulfilling 2015!

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