Same Old Feeling

I forgotten to wear my wedding band today. Not deliberately. I really forgotten…

Was watching the Korean drama, “The Jugglers”, while preparing to work and entertain little milo at the same time, thus, I missed that out.

Today, I sat in the bus and weirdly, I’ve got tons of thoughts in my head today. Not that I don’t have that in other days but today, it’s overflowing. Is it going to rain soon?

The lil’ hub’s on his solo trip now, in Vietnam. I sure everything will be alright. Not to worry will be a lie since he had never travel alone before. Had a small hiccup upon arrival where the Data Travel plan that he subscribed does not cover the country that he went. Consequences for trusting a boastful friend and not doing any checks at all on his own. But well, easily solved by getting a Sim card over there. Forgotten to bring pen and shampoo but these are all small issues. Just hope he will be back home on Sunday safely.

It’s the 28th of December and in another 3 more days, it will be 2018. It feels the same, like every other year end. Scrambling to list down the goals so that you can have a fresh start and hopefully managed to do those New Year resolutions, which somehow gets postponed year after year…

I’m disappointed with myself and yet I am not doing anything. Have I lost the rights to grumble? That I haven’t achieved anything?

Now that I’ve reached the office and staring at those emails in my inbox, I wondered where have I gone wrong. At work, at home, for myself. Why am I where I am? And how am I going to clear those work and make it better?

I am glad though, that I managed to stay away from the addiction of that website. At the very least, I won’t be affected every now and then. Staying away. I need to be very mindful of that.

I felt sleepy today. I’m not too sure why. I slept more than yesterday and yet felt more sleepy. Was it because I drank black tea yesterday morning and thus am more awake?

I don’t feel like doing anything except to sit at the beach and write… but without anymore annual leaves, I can only sit in the office now. Luckily, the bosses are not around. Anyway, just two more days at work, so endure… but it also means that the sh*t work will come next seek >.<

In case you are wondering why my writings seem jumbled up… my thoughts are fragmented and messed up. Me time. Was it called Me time? I am too lack of it. I don’t have enough time to tidy it, likewise the same for my craft room.

I’m going all the way down to Paya Lebar during lunch time, to submit my application for the post graduatrle diploma. I am not ready yet if you were to ask me. The course will start on 6 Jan next year, and classes will be on weekends. I’m not too sure if I can take it since it’s been a long time since I’ve studied. Worst still, I don’t think I am THAT interested in it. But then I know I have to if I continue to stay in HR. Sigh… have I wasted my time struggling to study those subjects which I hated? Why am I forever doing that?

Attempts to bake already failed twice. Everytime when I see nice cakes or new bakeries, I wondered what I am doing. At coming 38, I am still doing the things that I don’t really like just so that my life will be comfortable. I still don’t have any savings. And I am getting fatter, looking more and more auntie each day. The lil’ hub is having his mid-life crisis and a lot of times I felt so lack of love.

How did all those people around me focus on the work while I seem to be always stoning? Not that I don’t have any workload, but…

Hmm… 8 more minutes and I am out of here. I can’t do anything today till I get all these thoughts out. Do they have any life? Or are they simply too responsible, to even come back and work, or check their emails, when they are on leave!

On my way to Paya Lebar now. Gosh… maybe I should take a power nap.

An hour later…

Handed over the documents. Am now on my way back to office and thinking what to grab for lunch. Will stop over at Buona Vista to get the cupcake tray or maybe I should just get it another time? I think I shall do that. So that makes buying the wet tissues the next task. You know, ever since I became a mom, life is really different. Did I ever imagine all these? Nope but its alright. I am enjoying most of the time though I hope I can make it even better.

Sometimes I do blame myself for not putting in effort, for procrastinating, for simply just lazing around. Does it changes anything? By far, nope. So I wonder when will I really be more determine to change such negative side of me. I wonder and I wonder, and am still wondering… Not a good thing. Should I stop playing those mobile games? Or watch Korean drama? Hmm…

I feel like going home now, to get some good sleep.

Tomorrow I am going to spend some money to trim and colour my hair. It’s been years since I have coloured mine, I am not sure if I myself can accept it.

Back in office and finished my lunch. Finally had ban mian after coming back from Genting and having cravings of it. Saw the memories photos that we took 8 years ago. I was so slim then. What happened?

Maybe I should stop whining now and do some stuffs? Is my mind clearer now? Hmm…

Oh yes! Almost forgotten to mentiom about the deja vu feeling I get after meeting the coordinator for the course just now. I wondered where have I seen her before but yet I am pretty sure that it’s the first time I’ve seem her! Well… is there another me around? Or was it because someone with the power to go back to the past just went back and thus I have this sense of familiarity? I wouldn’t be surprise though.

And what does it means when a friend skipped seeing your message? Never mind. It doesn’t matter. Not mine anyway.

Read through what I wrote last year for 2017. Seems like I hardly achieved what I’ve planned. Time to work.

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Back.

I just got back from a short trip to Genting last week and boy, I am totally not in the mood to work today. With the weather so hot, my tired body doesn’t seem in tune with it either. And then the list of outstanding items remained outstanding as it is. Gosh. I haven’t even finished my Christmas shopping yet!

*ROAR!*

Continue reading “Back.”

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There are lots of time where I simply feel like taking a break and rot at the beach but alas, with my annual leave emptied, I couldn’t do that. The brain felt drained. Energy too. I, just recovered (not fully yet) from a bad cough due to a virus that is spreading around the house. And I am definitely not in the mood to do anything on a freaking Monday.

My head is constantly filled with things that I ought to do but probably its a tad too much for me to handle. The problem with a yin water element. Wanting to do a lot of things with that limited time & energy…

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Second Day of the Last Month

Had intended to write this post yesterday but simply couldn’t find the time to. Now, after making a short fuss about not being able to have any me-time at all to unpack and do my stuff, they finally ‘released’ me from the Monopoly game. I mean, yes, it’s indeed fun to play the game but when there are still tons of things to do (writing this post included), can I afford to?

I came back today after spending most of the week at my parents’ house this week as little milo was sick, and over there seems like a much better place to ‘heal’. My first thought was, I need to come back more often for things changed when I’m not around. Continue reading “Second Day of the Last Month”

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Drama – The Lonely & Great God

Swept with sadness since last night after watching the final episode of the Korean Drama – The Lonely & Great God. I had resisted from watching it even though friends had strongly recommended this drama as I know that the ending somewhat wasn’t really something that I like. Nonetheless, as the TV is showing it now, and since it’s starred by Gong Yoo, I decided to continue from there…

Alas. I’m not sure if it’s a good decision though.

It has a somewhat by right good ending but yet, to me, it doesn’t feel like it. Yes, it is true that they, the male and female lead, ended up together but only 3 more lifetimes? So what happens after that? I wondered if I am the greedy one who expects it to last forever. I feel it would be nice if it’s like Edward and Bella (Twlight). Well, at least they can accompany each other for the rest of their forever but the Goblin will end up still alone after 3 lifetimes, especially when the Reaper and his sister left too. Thus I can’t help but feel sad for him. Reminds me that ‘Happiness doesn’t always last’. Sigh…

What would you do if you are in either of their shoes? Hmm… For one, I definitely ain’t brave enough to sacrifice myself to save other children. For my own, it seems like a natural thing to do though. And to stay in the place with totally nothing at all? What is he wishing for? Miracles? Though in the end, it proves to be a really good decision. And it’s amazing that his power remains. I’m just wondering how is he going to die…

A nice and interesting drama with not too bad plots. The things that makes me confused – all those memory loss created by the God after Goblin vanished to nothing – was it that the power is not strong enough such that the memories still comes back somehow? Or was it because their love was really so great and thus it overcomes the power? Why is he walking around in the place between the life and afterlife?

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Anyway, it was the genre and storyline that captured my attention. Of course the main characters matter too! Romance comedy with a bit of the unusual characters instead of the typical chaebol vs poor stories.

But I doubt I will watch it again. The heart cannot take a second time. Lol :p

If there really is such thing as reincarnation (which I do somewhat believe), I must have did something wrong in my previous life and owed my lil’ hub big time. Lol.

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And He Was Gone…

The pace of life is so fast, that sometimes thing passes you by without you realising it…

There was this uncle, who stays in our block for a long time. Every now and then, he will greet and chit chat with us. A happy uncle, who loves to watch soccer. And then, while I was busy moving house, at times I wonder where that uncle went for it seems like quite a while since I last saw him. And then some time later, there was this funeral below the block. I wonder who it was but was thankful that it wasn’t my loved ones. The pain of losing my Goddad is still there. That was about a week back till yesterday, when the lil’ hub told me that it was that uncle…

It was a shock. He still looks bubbly the last I saw him… the last…

He will be missed. He will be… and hope he’s well now… the uncle on the power chair…

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Where Was I?

It’s been 2 weeks since I last wrote. My attempts failed yet again althought its a very conscious one. Ah… where was I?

I got lost in my dreamland this morning. Indulging a little on that pathetic sweetness, whatever that’s left and can be tapped. I would love to indulge a bit more but it just wasn’t possible. Maybe someday… maybe… just maybe…

Continue reading “Where Was I?”

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