Understanding Myself All Over

One week. I spent the past one week reading up stuffs, stoning and trying to understand myself again. I’m probably having some kind of crisis, midlife crisis most likely. At 37, with the year ending in another few months, I am still at where I am at the start of the year. No money, no achievements, still as fat or probably fatter due to lack of sleep and causes other health issues too, and even the lil’ hub hardly kisses or hugs me anymore.

I’m not balanced.

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Just had an argument with the lil’ hub and of course, it doesn’t end up well. He is snoring away while I am wide awake. We had very different point of views due to the way we are brought up. How?

For some reasons, I’m not in a healthy mental state. Plus the recent dizzy spells and gastrics, it only confirms that I ain’t really well. On top of that is the lack of hugs and kisses.

I felt alone. And made stupid times and again.

What have I done wrong? Or not done?

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It’s a Problem When…

You know it’s a problem when you can’t look him straight in the eyes…

When did it happen? Was it when he stop hugging and kissing you on his own accord? Or was it when he kept commenting that your parents are useless? Or maybe it could be at the point where he called you dumb? And that you shouldn’t move your things over because you are such a mess? And your finance is a mess too, and so on and so forth… Continue reading

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