Blog #0418

7.38am – I felt extremely tired to need to wake up so early to pump the milk, and then to go to work. But when I saw that cute little baby smiling at me early this morning as I talked to her, even if she’s half awake (as if knowing that it’s you, her mother), I guess it’s all worth it… I LOVE LITTLE MILKIE! And of course my lil’ lazy hub too! *LOL*

9.46am – Having my breakfast now at my seat. Will plan a little bit of things before I start work. So how’s things so far? Definitely getting better, I would say. But I’ll need to be really discipline to make this work, so as to balance my work and family, and yet not affecting my own personal life. So far so good. And today’s (planned) timing seems much better – Wake up at 6.30am and pump. Reach office, drop things and pump. Pump at about 11am. After lunch, pump at around 2pm. And then the last one, when I’m off work, preferably around 5pm, so that I can reach home and pump at 7, 9 and 11. Cool. NICE plan. Going to start work now.

11.38am – I also know I shouldn’t use the handicapped toilet, and should use the one for ladies. But there’s no nursing rooms, and you can’t expect me to pump in the female toilet right? Sigh… and now you tell me as if I’m an idiot, and don’t know how to read the signs…

2.40pm – I wanted to go for my pump now but… I think the bosses are in the pantry… and my “tools” are in the fridge in the pantry…

3.33pm – Muesli bar, nuts and more nuts, lots of water and soya bean. I’m getting so healthy (and fat).

4.53pm – Suddenly… like nothing urgent to do… so… hmm… *mimick whistling*

11.08pm – It’s only the 4th day and yet I’m shock by how fast things had changed. How short the memory is for a baby. And how wrong was I to think that it’s okay not to carry or play with her just for a few days.

I took a cab and came home earlier today, just so I can probably take my dinner earlier a little and maybe try to feed her since for the past few days, her feedings always happened either when I’m having my dinner or doing the pumping. My mum, who wanted to let me rest, thus gladly took the job on the feeding. But alas! We never notice that she had gotten used to my mum especially during these 3 days, for almost the whole day, it was my mum tending to her when she wanted to sleep! And when I tried to carry her just now, all she did was cry and cry. An hour of non-stop crying. Ouch. I felt like I’d neglected her. And ouch. She can’t just rely on my mum. My mum needs to rest and I want to bring her back home so that I can claim back my house and restore its previous glory! I’m not going to let my house become a sad gloomy place where one won’t feel happy living in. Again, if she (you know who) were to continue like that, I’m not going to control my temper nor close both my eyes anymore.

An even temper person also has his or her limits. Like I always said, good temper doesn’t mean no temper. And I’ve seriously had enough of her “cleanliness” and “tidiness”. TMD.

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