“My Wish is to Become a Smartphone”

It’s little milkie’s first day of school! And I’m currently at home, waiting for the time to fetch little milkie from school.

How’s things so far? Well, the morning was relatively smooth, with little milo not insisting on his YouTube watching (we forgot to hide the remote control yesterday night). But will probably have to adjust on the timing again as sending little milo to school first might cause his sister to be late for school.

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Breastfeeding – 6 Months Milestone HIT!

I admit, I did have second thoughts of continuing to breastfeed little milo but I’m glad that I did not and persevere on! And now that I’d pumped for the past 6 months, I FEEL SO SATISFIED!! Especially when my little milo is such a chubby little cutie!

Indeed, it had been a long and arduous journey, with me waking up at the wee hours during the earlier months, and pumping every 3 hours. Now that I’m mostly pumping 4 times a day, it definitely gave me more rest time. But that doesn’t make it much easier for I usually only get to sleep around midnight, and then subsequently waking up at 6am to ensure that I’m not too late for work.

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Pregnancy – Post-Pregnancy Brain

If you think that you are getting oh so forgetful while you are pregnant, wait for a while and observe after you had given birth. I have to admit, really, that the brain will somehow deteriorate after the birth of the baby. The first born is bad, it will be worse for the second, at least that’s what I think after spending hours cracking my brain, trying to recall if I deposited little milkie’s CNY ang bao money into her bank account already or not.

It’s definitely frustrating, as I searched high and low for it hours ago to no avail. And I thought I kept seeing it since I’d put at some place that’s quite prominent. I don’t remember putting those money into her account but yet I ain’t sure. And somehow, that pea brain of mine can’t seem to recall anything, if there’s any at all. It simply don’t move. Sigh…

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Breastfeeding – All the Abbreviation

Alright. I’m on it. I’m on it. Can’t you see I’m trying to catch up with my blog (lots of drafts – half written – in the list) as well as catching with my sleep!

It’s been 6 weeks pp since I gave birth to my LO and my world is still spinning and moving in random mode. But thankfully and hopefully it will stabilize soon so that I can start to do what I planned previously. I’ve been saying that very frequently and like what Ellen mentioned, let’s discuss about ‘procrastination’ and then the next she said, ‘maybe we will wait for another day’.

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Motherhood – Coping with Multiple Failures

Just heard a news earlier on, that the HCG level dropped to 35, from the friend whose wife did the implantation of the IVF process a few weeks ago. And then seconds later, the hospital called to ask his wife to stop taking the medication and let the menses start. That ends it all, for this round. This was the second time it failed. There’s 2 more reserved eggs for this cycle. I hope the next time round, it’s going to be a success.

It must have been a big disappointment, or worse, sadness, especially when it’s not the first time. Having an unsuccessful IVF is as good as having a miscarriage, and a definite known case. Furthermore, couples who went through the whole process of IVF are those who really, really (probably even desperately) wanted a child. For most of them, one is good enough, and it’s a grace sent from Heaven.

But perk up. Keep on trying. Don’t give up. You need to be positive and relax for a foetus to want to feel safe and carry on growing. And there’s so many positive cases around the world! A friend of mine said his friend became a dad only at age 47, after trying for a number of times. The point is, there’s always a chance as long as the female is still having their menstrual cycle. There’s so many other tips and tricks too. Just try it all, and you’ll never know when you might just conceive!

For the hubby, be there for your wife. As much as it’s a great disappointment for you, it’s even greater for the “mother”.

A tip from a mother who went through a successful IVF before – Rest and lie on bed as much as possible right after the implantation. Do not walk around even in your own house. Put a pillow under the buttock so that it’s elevated. Rest and rest, and rest. The fertilized egg cannot implant itself if there’s too much movement.

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Parents Setting an Example

Of late, it had been especially interesting to see the actions and behaviours of my baby. Nothing was taught and yet she picked it up on her own such as, saying “Excuse me” when you blocked her path, wiping the floor when you gave her a handkerchief or tissue, keeping her toys once she wants to stop playing with them.

It’s good. All these are good habits, but that’s provided if the parents are there to set a good example. To be exact, it’s not just the parents, it’s more of all the caregivers or people who the baby sees often.

Babies are like sponges, they follow what they saw and learned it without you realizing it. Out of nowhere on one fine day, my baby started digging her nose. Why? Apparently she saw her grandmother doing that. It’s funny, of course, at the first sight of it. But it takes a while to get her to “quit” that deliberate habit, which might in turn, really becomes her habit.

I’ve also seen and heard from friends telling me that friends of their children spoke vulgarities at a very young age because their parents does that. They won’t really understand what it meant. But probably will just take it as something to be said if you are unhappy.

Really, it’s a very simple theory. If you expect your children not to do something, you have to stop doing it first, otherwise, the children will start to question the reason. If you want them to respect you, be the good example for them to follow.

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Parenting on the Same Side

I saw my baby throwing her tantrum and then the daddy started scolding and hitting her hand slightly. She turned to me, crying for help. I carried her and explained to her softly on the things that she can and can’t do, and then to apologize to her daddy. Am I doing the right thing?

I’d never taken “parenting” very lightly, especially after what I’d seen of my cousin, whose parents (my uncle and his wife) had been quarrelling and always on the opposite side, and still is, for the past 13 years. All the while seeing how my cousin took advantage of that situation, since when he was young. He didn’t turn out that bad, thankfully, but he could probably have been better.

It’s actually normal for a couple to go against each other. You can’t really expect 2 person to always agree, isn’t it? But no matter what, they should never do that when it comes to disciplinary of their children, especially when it’s a fact that the child really did something wrong. And worse still, in front of their children. So what happens when parents are always against each other?

Children are smart and they can absorb, understand and come out with their own “theory and conclusion” based on the things that they see or hear. And soon enough, they will know that they are always being “protected” by either side if their parents are on different side. For example, if the dad scolds, the mum will come to their rescue and argue with the dad or vice versa.

So is it good to be on the same side? Actually, there’s good and bad. Good in the sense that there won’t be any conflict, and the direction for the child is clear, as in, what is “can be done” and what is not. Bad is when both started scolding at the child, which simply drive them to a corner, feeling helpless, and probably not loved.

What am I trying to say? Have one person to be the bad guy, and the other be the one to “guide” them in a gentler tone, in the same direction. If any conflict really arises, just remember never to do it in front of the children. Of course, this is definitely not applicable if any abusing seems to be in action.

Anyhow, I’m back to hushing my baby.

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Increasing the Milk Supply

It felt as if a big rock was thrown right at me after I realized that there was a sudden drop in my milk supply when I suffered from Mastitis. An inexperience first time mum, without much people to ask and not knowing where to start. Everyone was feeding me with different sets of information.

And then the following was what I concluded after experiencing and trying all out. There isn’t any sure method or prescription that will guarantee an increase in milk supply because it all depends on the individuals. But these methods definitely helped in one way or another:

  • Latch. Yes, this is the simplest way because the creator of Earth had made it so simple such that you just have to latch correctly, and you’ll ensure an abundance of milk supply. The word is “correctly”.
  • Drink lots of water. I really mean lots and lots of it. In the first place, you’ll probably just get very thirsty naturally. Soups or longan drink can be in replacement of water in the event if plain water are not allowed during confinement.
  • Massage the breasts. Do this before and during a feed/pump. This will stimulate and activate the milk flow, and thus increases the amount of milk flowing out.
  • Warm towel. Cover your breasts with a warm towel before a feed/pump. It will help to “melt” those clogged ducts and therefore a smoother milk flow. Use this together with some massaging.
  • Sleep. Babies are not the only one who should sleep a lot. Leave everything else to the others and just concentrate on breastfeeding, eating and sleeping. If you can’t have enough rest, your body and mind won’t function well at all, don’t even mention about producing milk!
  • Relax. It definitely doesn’t help to get overstress on that already low milk supply. The more stress you get, the lesser the supply will go. That’s how our brain functions. When overstress, stops all work. So, just relax and enjoy the breastfeeding process, and your baby will have enough milk. And the fallback plan? There’s always the milk powder.
  • Eat protein food. I know you are dying to get rid of that droopy tummy that once was the home of your baby. But it sure isn’t a good time to go on a diet. When there’s no input, there’s no output. If you don’t eat, where do you think the nutrients of our breastmilk come from? Eat. And eat nutritious food. Diet can always come later.
  • Think about your baby. This will help because when you think of your baby, somehow, you can feel the love you have for him/her. And your body automatically relaxes itself. Of course, it probably will bring a smile on your face too.
  • Imagine the flow of milk. The mind controls everything. If you can control and imagine the milk flow, from the body, and slowly moving out through the milk ducts, you might just find out that it actually works!
  • Empty your breasts. This is very important. Remember to empty it as much as possible because if it’s not empty, the body will just produce that little amount to fill it up. And unknowingly, the body would think that there isn’t a need to produce that much milk, and thus decrease the milk supply. How do you know if it’s empty? The breasts will feel very “light” and not engorge (swollen/full) at all.
  • Increase the number of pumps/feeds. The more you feed or pump, the more the breasts get emptied and thus, the milk supply will increase. But do note, DO NOT overdo it because it might tire your body out. If you are breastfeeding directly, you’ll probably have to follow the baby’s feeding schedule. But if you are pumping exclusively, a maximum of 8-9 pumps a day would be more than enough.
  • Herbs. Fenugreek and Mother’s milk tea are both taken by breastfeeding mothers to increase their milk supply. But seriously, there’s no guarantee. Personally, it doesn’t work for me but nonetheless I put it down here for reference as it works for some actually. If there’s any side effects (I’d never heard of any yet), please stop immediately. Would be good if you consult your lactation consultant.

Well, hope all this will help you in one way or another. Good luck!

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Motherhood – Deciding to Exclusive Pump

I cried on the day I decided to stop latching and go for exclusive pumping. It wasn’t an easy decision. I felt guilty. It felt like I’d deprived my baby of the chance to latch on and drink the breastmilk which contains lots of nutrients. The bonding time for just the two of us seems to be snatched away.

The baby couldn’t latch properly and was way too impatient to be taught. The external stress and pressure from the family members was way too high, insisting that the baby wasn’t drinking enough and that it was difficult to gauge the amount of milk that the baby had drunk. On top of that, the breast infection that was caused by a crack in the nipple didn’t help much, which also resulted in a fever. I gave up.

But that wasn’t the end. As much as I had to give up on latching, the idea of providing breastmilk to my baby didn’t stop here. After all, if I were to exclusively pump and feed it to the baby using the milk bottle, she would still be drinking breastmilk, isn’t it? And isn’t that the most important thing? Which is for her to get all the nutrients from breastmilk?

So that’s what I did. Day and night, I read up online on anything related to exclusive pumping. I was determined to continue to provide breastmilk for my 2 weeks old baby then. And I wanted to see if anyone else did that. Surprisingly, there was, and quite a number too! That was about 2 months back.

Today, I’m still exclusively pumping though the milk supply wasn’t a lot. As a mother, I feel that I need to try my best to provide for my baby, and at the same time, not stressing myself too much. So, I’d come up with a theory: If the baby can latch, let the baby latch. Else, pump exclusively and feed the baby using a milk bottle. If all else failed, milk powder will be the last option. There’s always ways to make up for that “bonding time” or “nutrients”. The bottom line is, “Don’t give up!”, your baby still loves you even if you never breastfeed him/her.

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