Living For…

Recently, I don’t know why… Is it because I’m sick? Or is it because… that I just don’t know why? I don’t have the mood to do anything. Totally nothing. I’ve felt that before. Some time… quite a while before… But this time, it happened again. I don’t feel like doing anything at all. Or is it because I’d worked too much such that I lost myself in the midst of my work? I don’t know. It’s a long weekend. Good Friday, then Saturday and today is Sunday. But I would say… I slept a lot. For the whole of today. I ain’t tired. Just that I kept coughing and… I don’t know what to do. Don’t really feel like touching my work. Don’t really feel like looking at any books. Just felt like lazing around. But yet, sometimes I don’t feel like lazing around either. So I slept, and slept, and slept. Waking up on and off to spit out the phlegm that kept making me cough. What am I living for? Do I just want to laze around like that? No… or Yes? I don’t know…

I watch the F1 at M’sia today. It’s been a long long time since I last watched it. Hadn’t I like it so much? Kimi… the cute Kimi who won today. My room. It’s messy again. It’s always messy. Why? I don’t know why either. The computer wires are getting messy. IC called just now, BY too… think they are at a conference, with other people. Hmm… at 10pm. That’s late. Still discussing about work. No wonder SK don’t like to go there. Zhu Zhu… should be studying now. Tomorrow he having his first paper – OIS. When getting married? I don’t know. Maybe… 2009, or 2010… or… 2011…? Life… seems to stop again. Stagnant. Why? I don’t know why… What am I living for? Seems like nothing…

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