Ramblings #1068

7.35am – Monday, again. And I am so reluctant to wake up but what can I do? Nothing. The idea of taking MC today was scrapped off after thinking about the loads of things to do at work. Not to mention that I haven’t even gotten the letter that there’s increment for my salary! Or is there no increment this year? O.O”’

8.49am – It’s funny to see how little milkie tried to “escape” from school as she ran towards the gate. But alas, it’s locked and she’s not tall enough to open. And too bad, if like what she said, “Now I study, and when I grow up, I will go to work”, then my little girl, you will have to go to school and study now. Blame the person who invented the money. Or else, blame this country that you will born into, for making it so competitive.

9.41am – Almost 45 minutes after I reached office and yet I’m still eating my breakfast. Am having a little headache now and can feel like legs swollen just from those short walks here and there. The weight from little milo is getting a little too much for my poor legs to handle. Maybe I ought to start getting more breaks here and there, since I’ll have to clear my 6 days childcare leave by this year, and then 20 days of maternity leave within a year after that. 4 months of maternity leave… I’m SOOOO looking forward to it. Let’s hope by then, the lil’ hub can get his 1 week paternity leave too. Hope…

Anyway, I’d decided quite a few things after the weekend, and probably am going to re-arrange my schedule again. Guess I’ll really have to be realistic when it comes to planning, especially when I need to tend to an active toddler, who needs my attention every now and then – to draw with her, read story to her, play Lego and what not with her. Indeed, it’s getting tiring as the day goes by. At times, I wished little milo is out now, so that I can do a lot more things, like sitting on the floor, climbing up the chair to grab something from the top of the wardrobe etc. But then again, once little milo is out, there will bound to be another set of headaches, which I won’t know if I can handle till then.

Well, am just going to focus on NOW, and not THEN. So… press on, again! Must stay positive!

10.40am – Whenever I calculate my finance, I’ll feel so depressed. Sucks. It’s only half way through the month. And I’ve still got 1 more gathering. After that, I must really stop… Milk powder’s finishing soon, again! *CRY*

12.52pm – What happens when you saw a pair of extremely big, droopy and gross breasts? You attempt to pull your hair and scream because it’s so yucky and you think you are in a trauma.

Ah…….!!!!!!! I want to remove that image out of my brain! Why did that auntie never wear bra!!! And why did she cross in front of us?!!! O.O

1.50pm – And everyday, I have to deal with BN people. I… already don’t have the mood to work. How to? When I’m feeling so sleepy because I woke up a few times every night. When it gets tiring to walk just a few steps. When there’s so many things to consider when it comes to money, and little milkie’s school, the lil’ hub’s job and the birth of little milo.

I am a little stress but who can I say it to? And what is the purpose of saying it out? Knowing that 1 of my good friends ain’t in a good state definitely doesn’t help. I can’t even help myself, how can I help her? I wished I can, but I can’t.

Life… still goes on…

3.39pm – I’m already very depressed, and that call definitely doesn’t cheer me up. Should have stopped half way, during that happy tone.

3.54pm – First time I sat alone crying, after so long. Ever since I’m pregnant with my #2, I tried not to give myself too much pressure or think too much. But the lately events make the situation otherwise.

Out of nowhere, there seems to be a lot more responsibilities. Little milo is coming out soon.

9.04pm – Crap. I’ll need to change my plan again. The MIL sickness suddenly got worse after she thought that she recovered a lot and her MC finished, and thus went back to work. Sigh… When can I bake? *It would be a challenging time, as many of your carefully laid plans will not give you the results you wanted* Has my luck for next year already started? Sigh… What am I going to do during that half day this Thursday then? *scratch head*

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