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Been raining heavily since the early afternoon. Nonetheless it hasn’t dampen my jolly mood. Today is a Friday but it wasn’t just because of that, that made me so happy. I, managed to get the lil’ hub to wake up earlier so that we can send little milkie to school earlier. She was happy, and I was happy too. The lil’ hub and I even had time for a quick breakfast!

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Half of 2017 had gone, and I haven’t been as hardworking as I had intended and planned to. And after the Perth holiday, things still didn’t pick up. The only one thing I had done and am proud of, was to curb my addiction of going to read that blog. So far so good, it’s been more than a month or so. Though there are days where I’ve got the temptations, I’d resisted.

Are things looking good? It isn’t bad but with so many things running at the back of my head, I simply can’t get things right…

Blogging regularly.

I haven’t been blogging that regularly. Not even occasionally. Many a times I had intended to but ended up with a draft. In fact, I’ve got so many drafts of recent! All half written posts…

It’s not a good sign. Basically I couldn’t get my thoughts out for various reasons. So you can imagine how cluttered my mind was (and still is) when I couldn’t put them into words.

So, I have decided to make it a point to blog regularly again. That is, at least I know, one effective way to keep me sane and balance.

I am FAT.

This, is starting to bother me. Especially when I look at my reflection everyday and wondering who that auntie is… How long has it been? 5 years? Ever since I’m pregnant with little milkie, that 42kg disappeared from my life forever. And though I’ve already gave up the hope (and clothes) of going back to a size S (or XS), I seriously do not want to stay at an L!

What’s worse was the fact that little milkie thinks that I am fat too. Okay, she’s not wrong…

I know I had to do something to it. But between knowing and actually doing something, there is a big gap. I tried to exercise with the lil’ hub. It works until I fell ill and it goes bad again. Food controlling was bad too. *sux*

Time is Limited

And then there is the time factor. If I exercise, I can’t do much with little milkie. And if I go through any activities with her, I don’t have the time to do my own things. But if I were to do my own things, I would be neglecting both of them!

Oh, did I just mention both? Oh yah, the problem on top is being multiplied by two, now that little milo needs quite a bit of my attention too. It’s a good thing but I wished I can managed my time better!

Little Milkie

She’s fine, growing up well and naughty with a nasty temper (just like her dad). I sometimes wonder if it’s really the genes that caused her to be like that. She wasn’t really that pampered, with us scolding her if she did something wrongly and yet, she is still what she is. No, there is nothing wrong with that. I am just wondering.

She’s smart but lazy. And everytime when I got her to do her “homework”, she will feel sleepy. Yeah, the homework spells that causes people to sleep. It’s tiring, to have to nag constantly. Am I someone who loves to nag? NO. So you can imagine how I dreaded it when my dearest mum told me to scold them the moment I stepped into the house.

Character aside. Her kindy is giving me problems and I hope they do get solved soon. And then I’ve got a bunch of quite ON mummies who seems to spend a lot of time coaching their kids, unlike me. Peer pressure? I sure felt it and I’m trying to do something.

And then there’s also the parent volunteer sessions that sucked up my annual leaves.

Little Milo

Then of course I’ve got my cute little milo, who unlike his sister, wakes up real early in the morning. It’s good and I don’t want to change that or else if he ended up like the sister, I will faint. It’s our bad to have changed little milkie’s habit previously.

Well, he’s alright except that at 27 months, he still isn’t talking much. I am not really that worried for other than speech, he’s growing up just fine. Nonetheless, being quite a kiasu mum, I decided to send him to the childcare except that we realised that this childcare wasn’t as alright as we had thought.

What makes it worse was that the lil’ hub places the responsibility on me. Like… shall anything happened to him, I will feel bad for the rest of my life. Sigh, what can I say?

Mental Exhaustion

I’m not good. In fact it seems to be this way for quite a while except that I casted it aside. And now that the problem seems to be bigger, I know I had to figure something out before it gets out of hand.

I’m exhausted. Everyday and every moment. I don’t know what I am tired about. I am just… tired. It’s like something is constantly running at the back of my head and I simply can’t turn it off and thus, it drains off my battery.

There’s tons of things that I would love to do but yet I kept procrastinating. And that bothers me.

I’m not too sure if regular blogging will help me or drain my energy but I just know I need to do something. Let’s hope my next post will be more positive.

It’s a start. I am back. ^^

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