Emo Week

How time flies. A week has already passed and now I’m making myself blog again. So how does my week looked like? Emo. On top of the hectic schedule.

Passing Away

A close friend’s grandmother had just passed away a few days ago. Though it was somewhat expected after she had a fall and went into a coma, one can’t help but feel sad.

It reminded me of the time, 12 years ago, where my goddad was found dead, early in the morning. That, was really sudden. Nonetheless, it’s still one more person leaving this world.

And there will be more, as another friend’s dad’s conditions doesn’t seem good. So is a colleague’s aunt.

I remembered a friend’s mom once said to me, “Someday, you simply get used to it.”

The cycle of life. Where does one go after that? Are there any afterlife?

Making the Will

It never really dawn on me much to make a will. After all, I am not one with tons of money. Neither are my family members. But after hearing the explanations from my friend, one does really need to consider it.

For me, there is one that caught my attention. Do you know that if you and your spouse were to die together and the time of death is unknown for both, the court will assume that the older one, based on date of birth, died first.

So take for example. Considering me and the lil’ hub, since I am older, I will be the one to die first and thus 50% of my money will go to my spouse and another 50% to my children. Which means nothing goes to my parent. And then when it comes to the lil’ hub, since the spouse (which is me) is already considered dead, part of his money will go to his parent and the other to our kids!

Well, I need to be fair. So, yes, I need to do something.

Separation Anxiety

Little milo finally went back to childcare after getting sick on his 3rd day of school and thus staying at home for a week due to fake measles.

And after each day, you can see the reluctance getting clearer as he delayed his reply to my question on whether he likes the school or not.

Of course, he cried. For the past 3 days, he cried. It’s getting lesser, thankfully. And I sure hope he will get used to going to his childcare soon.

Old Love

So after all these emo-ing. The Korean drama stuck me, continues to watch those Korean dramas. And then continues to day dream on all those cute handsome oppas.

But alas, somehow a night of insomnia caused me to think back to the past. To how I met each of them. Bittersweet but its all nice memories. Yet there is one which I simply couldn’t recall at all, no matter how hard I tried, on how we started, except for how we ended.

He wasn’t the first but he was the one who caused me to change almost thoroughly. And then it suddenly dawned on me that – is it true that if something drastic really happens, that the memory could be blocked or lost? Did I really throw it all away that night? The night where I slept and woke up feeling so refreshed and reborned. Was it because all these memories disappeared and thus I felt so light?

And of course there’s always that one. My regret. *LOL*

Whatever it is, I guessed its all in the past. I just wished, now, that it would be more smooth sailing for my children in the future.

It’s Every Morning

The same old story… Waking up the sheep. After a while, it really tires me out. Worst still if little milkie throws some tantrums like today. Asked her what she wants to wear for racial harmony the night before since she didn’t want to wear those that I borrowed from her friend. So she decided to choose a dress but when the morning comes, suddenly, she didn’t want to wear that.

Sigh.

My temper is getting shorter.

Not Being There

And then for some reasons, more than half of her classmates’ mummies are not working! What does that means for me? All of them get to join in their activities while I can’t. They get to pick their kids up while I can’t. They get to teach them and spend more time with them while I can’t.

Then I started wondering if I should just quit my job and be a stay-at-home-mom. Of course, that, can never ever be possible…

13 Years of Working

You felt tired. And before you you knew it, you realized that you’ve been working for 13 years already!

Goodness.

From being a test engineer, to a software engineer, then a project manager, and then into governance and system administrator, and now, in HR. How I have changed.

In Childcare

It’s the third day of start of new week and the teacher called to tell me that little milo had fell down and cut his lips.

Another sigh.

Sometimes, when one don’t have a choice, but to have to simply send their kid to a childcare, and pray hard that the kid will be well taken care of. My heart goes out to those whose kid got abused during the care. I do hope nothing of sort will ever happen, not just to my child, but to every kid.

Keeping Everyone Busy

And then you stop and wonder… why is everyone kept so busy?

Last week, today, I was out with 2 great friends, drinking and catching up. Today, the lil’ hub is out. It’s a Friday. And I spent the last 2 days on course, filling up my head with information. It seems a little overload, especially after today’s test. I am glad it’s over and I’m back home.

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FRIYAY!

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Thoughts – From Foe to Friend

In one’s life, there’s probably only a handful of people that will brighten up your day, and that you can talk about anything under the sun. I’m blessed with quite a handful although I did not contact with some of them to avoid any misunderstandings. And I am really grateful to know of this dear friend, who was an ex-colleague, and furthermore one which I had to “beware” of, due to our job scope.

We didn’t talk much in the office previously. At least, initially, for my boss told me to take note of what I said as he is an auditor. I did as per what I was told. It was until a job trip with him that things changed. He wasn’t as scary as what my boss had portrayed him to me. And as far as I know, talking to him about non-work things instead of not talking at all is far more easier.

As the saying goes, “Better an honest enemy, than a false friend.”

He is one darn honest chap I would say. Maybe it’s because of his upbringing. And as he travelled quite a lot, I get to hear lots of stories about other countries.

Anyway, it’s been almost a year since we last saw each other after we resigned from our previous company one after another (such a coincidence!). Today, as I was walking towards the hawker centre area for my lunch, someone called my name. It was him alright. He was as surprise and happy as I was? For he said he hasn’t seen any familiar face ever since he works here. And I happened to be on course for these 2 days. Was wondering what and where to eat when he pops up. He had his lunch and so he just sat down and accompanied me. We catched up on what happened for the past year. It was a nice lunch.

I’m really glad to have made such a friend. Just documenting it because I was really happy to see him again. *hugs*

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Ramblings #1259

10.54am – I’m not in a good mood today. In fact, it had been a few days since I’m feeling this way. Even the baking and cake decorating with the kids yesterday doesn’t help to lift my spirits up. Is there something wrong?

The head felt heavy.

Had been feeling nauseous (no, there is no way that I’m pregnant).

Lack of sleep.

Out of breath.

Moody.

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Ramblings #1184

7.05am – Was it a coincidence? Or was it some kind of telepathy? That little milo knows that I’m about to take a short nap and thus woke up so that he can has his milk fast? *sulk* There goes my 26 minutes of short nap before heading up to prepare for the day…

I’m still freaking tired, if that’s what you are wondering. My cough’s not getting any better but probably that’s because I never really control what I’m eating. The weekend’s not too bad though we never really went out. There’s still tons of things which I haven’t started. Will try and plan (again) later if I’ve got the time and mood.

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Ramblings #0950

8.24am – DARN! OVERSLEPT!!!!

10.36am – New lappie coming in!

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12.42pm – My super unhealthy and fattening lunch. Presenting fried kway teow and prawn mee soup from the coffeeshops at Hougang Green! Would have gotten the wanton mee with that queue number had they not ignore me (again). They really do have some attitude problem. I guess it’s probably because they earned enough already and has a lot of customers and thus became so attitude. Simply ignored me when I stood there for such a long time. Pui!

1.26pm – Dreaded going back to the office. Sigh… I am so freaking sleepy. The only thing I’m looking forward to is the facial appointment that I’m going to tonight.

2.41pm – It’s amazing how fate sometimes links 2 person back together. Was replying in my new group and saw a new comer. Suddenly remembered that I used to have a friend with the same name and surname. It was a relatively common name but that photo of the kid simply resembles her as well. I’d dropped her a message, she hasn’t replied yet but I’m pretty sure it’s her. More than 10 years ago… hmm… can you believe it that we “meet” each other again in such situation?

3.00pm – AHHH!!! It’s been confirmed!! She replied!!! It’s her alright!!! AHHH!!! I’m so happy!!!! A friend I knew in my first 3 months of my JC life!! Tad too bad I changed school after that and slowly lost contact! Am so happy!

3.14pm – A friend just pinged me and told me that she’s feeling sad as she’s going to stop breastfeeding. Ah… I can understand the dilemma and pain. She would have continued hadn’t she been very sick for 2 weeks. But mommies out there, you would have already done a great job if in the first place, you had intended to breastfeed your baby!

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6.52pm – Here’s my cute little “fiberman”! *LOL* That’s what happens when you can’t pronounce the “s” properly. It’s either that or “piperman”. Anyway, still cute! Mommy adores you to bits!!!

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10.03pm – Hmm… didn’t manage to catch the moon on this lousy camera of the phone. I think it will look nicer 2 days back. I wondered… are there really aliens over there? Why hadn’t man went up there ever since Armstrong? Or did they really go up without announcing? Hmm…

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Ramblings #0907

8.37am – And there she goes again. Going crazy…

11.56pm – PMS? Not me. But I felt like sh*t when I’m stuck between my lunch kakis… Humans, emotional beings, so easily affected by their own feelings. An argument with the spouse would spoil your day, and then you pass it on to another person. How easy, and how selfish can that be… Pass on the good, peeps…

2.33pm – You know, sometimes when you are holding something too strongly, you expect the rest of the people to believe you but in the end get disappointed, you start to get a little too carried away and condemned anyone and everyone who went the slightest bit against your idea.

I really don’t know what’s the problem here or what had happened when you talked to the previous 9, but I do felt a little offended when you started to go into denial, and insisted that I forget everything that was mentioned. I’m left… speechless.

3.03pm – *Background song: Once upon a dream* Today, is a dark day, with clouds looming at the top. Is it going to rain? Yes, it could have already, for some. It’s weird, isn’t it? The unexpected blow, from the unexpected. Maybe some sweet stuffs will help? Yes, it might just, I hope.

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Ramblings #0864

3.48am – It definitely doesn’t help when you’ve got a not-so-intelligent husband, who wakes you up in the middle of the night, just to ask you if you’ve pasted the mosquito patch on the baby… Damn it. WHY COULDN’T YOU SIMPLY SEE FOR YOURSELF, AND IF DON’T HAVE, PASTE IT ON YOUR OWN, OR ELSE YOU USE THE MOSQUITO REPELLENT INSTEAD??!!!

You woke me up despite the fact that you know very well that (i) I’m a light sleeper and wakes up very easily and (ii) I have sleeping disorder especially of recent. The sleep’s been disturbed. You happily went back to sleep while I struggled a little to get back to sleep. How wonderful… -.-”’

8.52am – I can vaguely remember anything. I felt very tired but I thought I tried to sleep early too…? No, wait. I woke up and played the game. But why did I wake up… *stares at the lil’ hub who was giggling away*

9.12am – Breakfast at the Sheng Siong nearby. Sucks. The butter and kaya tasted a bit weird, and the eggs are a little too uncooked. *thumbs down*

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11.21am – Is my face so not recognizable or that I’m being forgotten?? Looking at the comments written by the birthday boy on other wishes but not on mine. *furious*

12.39pm – I sat in the middle of the fast food restaurant, munching my fries away as groups of students from various school poured in. There wasn’t anything special about those kids until some words caught my attention. Vulgarities. Not just once, but continuously. I turned over and tried to identify which school that kid is from. And then I looked around, and realizes that there were students from all the 3 nearby schools around. I started to watch how the students behave and the following was what I’d concluded.

  • School A: A few speaking loudly in public, and that included vulgarities (both in Hokkien & English). Girls wearing skirt with the hem lines ending at least 15cm above knees, and sat on chairs like nobody’s business (legs opened wide).
  • School B & C: All look prim and proper, and talking at a normal volume and tone.

If you have a child, which school would you enrol him/her into? I’m so very glad that my cousin managed to get into School B, and that his mum finally gave up (after realizing that the opposition group is too strong for her one-woman-stand) insisting on letting him to go into School A. Sigh… what is her mind thinking of…

1.45pm – It’s always nice to have lunch with an old friend. Just had one again with the crappy guy, whom used to be my first official boyfriend. I seriously wonder what did I like in him. *LOL* Or maybe I’d never, but treated him as just a very good friend. Anyway, I’m glad that he seems to be really enjoying the work that he’s doing, though no doubt, it’s no easy money.

2.46pm – Hmm… suddenly felt so old after looking at a related relative’s photo… she has aged… and got fatter… so have I… O.O”’ Ah!!!!!!! NO, NO, NO! I can’t be like that!!

4.38pm – Shhh… I love my lil’ hub. *giggles* *POOF!*

4.50pm – It’s nice to re-watch your own wedding montage. Furthermore, created by yourself… Hahaha… It’s always good to reminisce on the fun times back then. Reminds you on why you got married. Hmm… Shall I share it? ^^

Damn it. I was so slim back then… *CRY…*

5.09pm – Was reading this article on the 11 list of things you would regret in your 30s. One of which, I am VERY afraid that I would regret… that is, not saving enough for my retirement, if I ever retires. I suck at money management, and I admit it. I’m not even saving for the past year. But how…?

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Ramblings #0814

12.27am – February is going to end in a few more days. Gee… That’s 1/6 of a year gone and again, I hadn’t achieved much. Not for myself, not for little milkie (and neither is the lil’ hub). I really ought to get down to do and follow some serious planning. Or else, the lil’ hub will always kept on nagging and saying that I’m the same as him – only talk, no action.

And really, there ain’t a lot of things that I really need to do in my list of goals, other than my blog, my “business” and my baby. Nonetheless, I’ve been having issues executing them especially when I’m back at home. Little milkie will always hijack my nettie and that results in me unable to do anything at all. So, should I get another nettie? Or should I simply stay outside for a little while longer and get a dongle? That’s definitely something which I need to solve before I can manage my time better.

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