Before I start my day…

Before I start my day today, here’s what I want to say. Kudos to all the mommies and daddies with children going to primary school! If you think that kindergarten is bad, waking up that early and making sure that the kids had enough sleep and not late for school is even worse.

First week’s over for 2019, my flu and cough hasn’t recover. Lil’ hub had to go reservist during period and I’m so thankful again that I’ve got my parents to help. Been keeping up with trying to get the kids to sleep before 10pm, and making sure that they brushed their teeth and rinsed their mouth after their last bottle of milk. Am constantly mindful that I don’t use my hp while I’m with them too. As well as do my work unless really necessary like yesterday where I did for 15 minutes and little milkie complained. Yet I can’t fault her for I should not bring work back home.

Been taking a photo of myself to remind me that… I am as lazy as I look.

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But looking at the time that I have, I seriously wonder will I ever have the time to do anything at all this year.

*shake it off!*

Breathe. It’s only the 8th day. Trust that you can do it, and then you will!

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“My Wish is to Become a Smartphone”

It’s little milkie’s first day of school! And I’m currently at home, waiting for the time to fetch little milkie from school.

How’s things so far? Well, the morning was relatively smooth, with little milo not insisting on his YouTube watching (we forgot to hide the remote control yesterday night). But will probably have to adjust on the timing again as sending little milo to school first might cause his sister to be late for school.

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Emo Week

How time flies. A week has already passed and now I’m making myself blog again. So how does my week looked like? Emo. On top of the hectic schedule.

Passing Away

A close friend’s grandmother had just passed away a few days ago. Though it was somewhat expected after she had a fall and went into a coma, one can’t help but feel sad.

It reminded me of the time, 12 years ago, where my goddad was found dead, early in the morning. That, was really sudden. Nonetheless, it’s still one more person leaving this world.

And there will be more, as another friend’s dad’s conditions doesn’t seem good. So is a colleague’s aunt.

I remembered a friend’s mom once said to me, “Someday, you simply get used to it.”

The cycle of life. Where does one go after that? Are there any afterlife?

Making the Will

It never really dawn on me much to make a will. After all, I am not one with tons of money. Neither are my family members. But after hearing the explanations from my friend, one does really need to consider it.

For me, there is one that caught my attention. Do you know that if you and your spouse were to die together and the time of death is unknown for both, the court will assume that the older one, based on date of birth, died first.

So take for example. Considering me and the lil’ hub, since I am older, I will be the one to die first and thus 50% of my money will go to my spouse and another 50% to my children. Which means nothing goes to my parent. And then when it comes to the lil’ hub, since the spouse (which is me) is already considered dead, part of his money will go to his parent and the other to our kids!

Well, I need to be fair. So, yes, I need to do something.

Separation Anxiety

Little milo finally went back to childcare after getting sick on his 3rd day of school and thus staying at home for a week due to fake measles.

And after each day, you can see the reluctance getting clearer as he delayed his reply to my question on whether he likes the school or not.

Of course, he cried. For the past 3 days, he cried. It’s getting lesser, thankfully. And I sure hope he will get used to going to his childcare soon.

Old Love

So after all these emo-ing. The Korean drama stuck me, continues to watch those Korean dramas. And then continues to day dream on all those cute handsome oppas.

But alas, somehow a night of insomnia caused me to think back to the past. To how I met each of them. Bittersweet but its all nice memories. Yet there is one which I simply couldn’t recall at all, no matter how hard I tried, on how we started, except for how we ended.

He wasn’t the first but he was the one who caused me to change almost thoroughly. And then it suddenly dawned on me that – is it true that if something drastic really happens, that the memory could be blocked or lost? Did I really throw it all away that night? The night where I slept and woke up feeling so refreshed and reborned. Was it because all these memories disappeared and thus I felt so light?

And of course there’s always that one. My regret. *LOL*

Whatever it is, I guessed its all in the past. I just wished, now, that it would be more smooth sailing for my children in the future.

It’s Every Morning

The same old story… Waking up the sheep. After a while, it really tires me out. Worst still if little milkie throws some tantrums like today. Asked her what she wants to wear for racial harmony the night before since she didn’t want to wear those that I borrowed from her friend. So she decided to choose a dress but when the morning comes, suddenly, she didn’t want to wear that.

Sigh.

My temper is getting shorter.

Not Being There

And then for some reasons, more than half of her classmates’ mummies are not working! What does that means for me? All of them get to join in their activities while I can’t. They get to pick their kids up while I can’t. They get to teach them and spend more time with them while I can’t.

Then I started wondering if I should just quit my job and be a stay-at-home-mom. Of course, that, can never ever be possible…

13 Years of Working

You felt tired. And before you you knew it, you realized that you’ve been working for 13 years already!

Goodness.

From being a test engineer, to a software engineer, then a project manager, and then into governance and system administrator, and now, in HR. How I have changed.

In Childcare

It’s the third day of start of new week and the teacher called to tell me that little milo had fell down and cut his lips.

Another sigh.

Sometimes, when one don’t have a choice, but to have to simply send their kid to a childcare, and pray hard that the kid will be well taken care of. My heart goes out to those whose kid got abused during the care. I do hope nothing of sort will ever happen, not just to my child, but to every kid.

Keeping Everyone Busy

And then you stop and wonder… why is everyone kept so busy?

Last week, today, I was out with 2 great friends, drinking and catching up. Today, the lil’ hub is out. It’s a Friday. And I spent the last 2 days on course, filling up my head with information. It seems a little overload, especially after today’s test. I am glad it’s over and I’m back home.

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FRIYAY!

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Thoughts – SHOUTOUT: GET ME OUT OF HERE! QUICK!

It’s not really that bad. It’s not really that bad. Well, it is bad. Ahh… I can’t wait to go back to my mum’s house. Gosh…

I had, actually intended to find a nice day, probably next week, sit down after my lunch or pump and slowly type out the days of my actually relatively nice and yet irritated confinement. But at this point, I just couldn’t endure anymore and had to shout it out. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

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Ramblings #1080

3.25am – I’ve been waking up so often in the middle of the night of recent, until I’m really so freaking tired from it. Looks like little milo didn’t fail to train me from all the late nights that I’ll be experiencing soon.

7.41am – Smuggled and HIDDEN!! Nice! ^^

8.12am – It’s funny when you see her finished her milk and immediately K.O. back to sleep. Who wouldn’t, especially for a child, when she only had less than 8 hours to sleep. Hmm… think I’ll have to start tuning her sleeping time again. Sleeping after midnight is way too much.

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8.54am – Another day of struggle with the crying koala bear that refuses to get off me. Sigh… is it due to the little brother that’s coming out soon? Or she simply just don’t like to go to school?

8.59am – And we both burst out laughing after my we realised that our dad meant ‘childcare’ when he pronounced it as ‘chao-geh’. *LOL*

10.37am – Spent the whole morning chatting with a friend on the Universe, world and little red dot again. Too heavy for a morning’s topic.

11.07am – The lil’ hub just called and said that the chat is over. Hmm… interesting job but I’m not too sure if he will like it. Nonetheless, if I am him. IF, in the event I didn’t get the other job, I will take this first and see how it goes. After all, unless there’s another vacancy for another job immediately, else, it’s definitely a good thing to have the income flowing first. And why not? To try out a new kind of job, which isn’t for hardselling, but instead, just to spread the word? ESPECIALLY if the salary is just as nice. *LOL* I’m pragmatic, yes, I know. But that’s life. I need to be, in order to live and survive in this realistic world. And honestly, I’m already not so realistic compared to a lot others.

11.36am – Gee… seems like I need to stop wearing my rings and a few watches. It’s getting a little tight…

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12.14pm – It’s DONE! HUAT AH!!

3.46pm – As I held the summarised version of JY’s Astrology for 2015, I can’t help but try not to laugh when I came across one of their bazi – the one where she’s lusting for someone, and vice versa. Could it be that coincident? I think she must be panicking inside. *LOL*

4.35pm – And it seems like, just moments before the start of a new year, there’s yet another plane crash in Taiwan. How tragic… to end the 2014. And it’s really like half an hour or so, before the start of a new year. This year, it’s going to be the year of the Wood. I wonder what’s going to happen to the agriculture, or palm oil, or fashion, or furniture industry (or any of those of that element). I just hope that there won’t be loss of lives, like 2014.

5.16pm – I wondered… will I help my children to check all enquiries in future? Or will I give them the directions, and get them to check on their own? Hmm… I might do the latter… After all, I (or the lil’ hub) should be the escalation point. Which means that the child should try and solve it on his/her own ability first before attempting to get us to help. Right? Anyway… that’s just me.

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Ramblings #1063

8.41am – I’m early today, so I can afford to eat something slowly, though I already ate a bit at home. First time trying this chee cheong fun at this coffeeshop. Not too bad. Looks like I have something new to eat already. But is this fattening too? Hmm…

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10.12am – Why is my mood not that good? I thought I had enough sleep?

2.08pm – Back at lunch. Managed to got off some negative aura, but seems like a big part is here to stay. It must have been those screenshots that my sister sent. Those that tells us how bad it is to let the children be exposed to tablets and TVs and what not. I’m… guilty as charged, and worse still because I knew all these beforehand, more or less. But I gave in to that for that little peace and quiet.

And then it started. The problem with the time monster, where it eats up all the time that you have and left you with little time or none at all. Where did all the time goes?

Well… let’s just say… it’s getting harder to play with little milkie. I’m not trying to make up any excuse, as I’d mentioned, I’m guilty as charged for letting her on the videos etc. But indeed, it really is getting harder and harder these days, for I can’t sit on the floor with her. Sitting too long will either cause aches or swollen legs, and getting up from the floor poses a problem as well, with this huge load of mine. And then my attention span ain’t as long also. Talking too long and too much can render me breathless too. Basically, it’s just difficult to do anything.

Moreover, I’ve got that list of things which I would hope to achieve, so as to earn more extra income, no matter how little it is, just to balance my life out. But if I were to play with her everyday till she sleep, I doubt that I would have the time to do anything at all, which is already the case.

But yet, I would admit that it’s getting a little bit too much of recent, especially when the hours that she spent on it seems to be getting longer and longer each day. And that you can see that at times, she’s oblivious to her surroundings, which is definitely something that I hope not to achieve.

It’s my fault, for neglecting this part. For letting it gets worse. But how do I achieve that balance then? Am I doing something wrong here? Why do I feel so guilty if it’s not the case? Am I not doing my best?

2.47pm – Indeed. It’s quite difficult to concentrate at work, when firstly, the mood is already not there and secondly, the kicks and punches kept coming in, continuously. 1 against 10, that’s what I’m feeling now… or should I say… it’s always a combo… -.-”’

2.53pm – It’s quite amusing at times when you have a not so IT-savvy husband. Recently, he created a new blog, which he told me what that URL is. And that subsequently after that, he told that he had another secret blog, which he refuses to tell me about. But I doubt he knows that I’m able to see it if he never disable that option of not displaying. Should I tell him about it? *LOL* Anyway, he’s cute, and thanks to that, at least I’m smiling genuinely for the first time today. Love him so dearly… (although he’s still irritating at times) ^^

3.52pm – It’s almost 4pm. I haven’t done much today other than the training which I did in the morning. Probably I should do a little planning now, and see what I should do tomorrow. After all, there are certain timings which I need to change…

5.19pm – How nice it would be… if only there’s enough time to…

… sit down and do nothing… spend time with the family
… do some crafting
… set up a business
… play with your children
… write a blog
… bake & decorate a cake
… do some planning
… have a meal with your friends
… watch a movie
… read a book
… finish your work
… make friends
… reminiscence on the past
… picnic by the beach
… go on a holiday
… clear and run your errands
… re-decorate your room
… do some painting
… clear all thoughts

I guess I should pack up and go for my appointment now. Looks like I ain’t in the mood to work. Not the correct mood.

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Thoughts – Mommy’s Help is BACK!

One might think, like the lil’ hub, that I shouldn’t be feeling as tired as I should be, since I also never did much when my parents ain’t around over the weekend. But you are wrong! It might seem like I never do anything too, but in fact, there’s still a few things that I did additional!

Lying at the side of my body, I can feel my whole body relaxing, with little milkie and the lil’ hub already snoring away. I’m tired, physically and especially mentally.

Not to mention Friday’s and Saturday’s outing, just take today for example, and it’s good enough to know why I’m so tired.

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It started out in the morning, where I woke up with a nice view, of seeing little milkie hugging the lil’ hub to sleep. And then after that the MIL went to get breakfast. Yes, indeed, the lil’ hub bathed little milkie, but I had to set out to prepare the things for him, and then after that it’s all the packing and entertaining little milkie.

Then it’s the baby shower that we had to attend, all the way right to the West side. Little milkie wasn’t the only one who is tired, I am too, especially with that aching back. And when she saw those Uncles and Aunties, she clung onto me like a koala bear. Look here, I seriously don’t have much strength to carry her for that long but help ain’t there unless I specifically ask for it (which at one point, I couldn’t even find the lil’ hub).

Then there’s the MIL who carried little milkie to get some food, to only leave her wandered around alone after that, lost in the crowd. Luckily, the lil’ hub and I were quick to see her alone, and waved her over. You have no idea how glad she was (shown all over her face) when she finally saw us, after looking lost for a minute, and ran so fast all the way back (though it’s just around a few metres away). You know, she could have run the other direction, and out of the door, for all we knew, hadn’t the lil’ hub and I caught sight of her first.

Thereafter, I was waiting for the lil’ hub to bring us out to have a proper meal, but then the MIL decided to have a long chat with the big aunt instead of staying for just an hour (as what she mentioned earlier). And then little milkie had to entertain herself by singing, and then finally starting to play with a cousin’s daughter. The lil’ hub, seeing this, long forgotten the fact that his preggy wife is not full from the buffet. Poor little milo… and me…

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What’s worse? A trip to Holland Village eventually ended up with NO food because the lil’ hub had wanted to eat the food at Coffee Bean but there wasn’t any available seat at all. And the rest isn’t to his liking (and thus I also never suggest).

And for the WHOLE trip back home, he and his dearest mum were complaining about how pathetic the buffet is, and blah and blah… Sigh… I had to act sleeping just to avert his redundant questions and save my energy.

Well, you have no idea how glad I am when I finally got back to my parents’ house, and even more so when my sister was back with food, though by then, my hunger and appetite had already died off.

Anyhow, I’m just glad that I managed to survive this week. Indeed, it ain’t easy to manage a toddler when you are carrying a small one around. Every breath is so hard to breathe.

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Thoughts – Parent-Teacher Conference (PTC)

I almost laugh-out-loud when I saw the note pasted on little milkie’s communication book. Did I see it wrongly? I wondered, as I re-read the title and content of the printed note a few times – “PTC”, which stands for Parent-Teacher Conference. Erm… little milkie is only 2 years and 3 months old, and I sent her to a childcare under the Playgroup class for her to socialise and learn a little bit of things, what kind of parent-teacher conference do I need? Wahahaha… to tell me how “tao” or ya-ya-papaya my little milkie is? Or how she actually talked back to the teachers? Oops :p

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