Emo Week

How time flies. A week has already passed and now I’m making myself blog again. So how does my week looked like? Emo. On top of the hectic schedule.

Passing Away

A close friend’s grandmother had just passed away a few days ago. Though it was somewhat expected after she had a fall and went into a coma, one can’t help but feel sad.

It reminded me of the time, 12 years ago, where my goddad was found dead, early in the morning. That, was really sudden. Nonetheless, it’s still one more person leaving this world.

And there will be more, as another friend’s dad’s conditions doesn’t seem good. So is a colleague’s aunt.

I remembered a friend’s mom once said to me, “Someday, you simply get used to it.”

The cycle of life. Where does one go after that? Are there any afterlife?

Making the Will

It never really dawn on me much to make a will. After all, I am not one with tons of money. Neither are my family members. But after hearing the explanations from my friend, one does really need to consider it.

For me, there is one that caught my attention. Do you know that if you and your spouse were to die together and the time of death is unknown for both, the court will assume that the older one, based on date of birth, died first.

So take for example. Considering me and the lil’ hub, since I am older, I will be the one to die first and thus 50% of my money will go to my spouse and another 50% to my children. Which means nothing goes to my parent. And then when it comes to the lil’ hub, since the spouse (which is me) is already considered dead, part of his money will go to his parent and the other to our kids!

Well, I need to be fair. So, yes, I need to do something.

Separation Anxiety

Little milo finally went back to childcare after getting sick on his 3rd day of school and thus staying at home for a week due to fake measles.

And after each day, you can see the reluctance getting clearer as he delayed his reply to my question on whether he likes the school or not.

Of course, he cried. For the past 3 days, he cried. It’s getting lesser, thankfully. And I sure hope he will get used to going to his childcare soon.

Old Love

So after all these emo-ing. The Korean drama stuck me, continues to watch those Korean dramas. And then continues to day dream on all those cute handsome oppas.

But alas, somehow a night of insomnia caused me to think back to the past. To how I met each of them. Bittersweet but its all nice memories. Yet there is one which I simply couldn’t recall at all, no matter how hard I tried, on how we started, except for how we ended.

He wasn’t the first but he was the one who caused me to change almost thoroughly. And then it suddenly dawned on me that – is it true that if something drastic really happens, that the memory could be blocked or lost? Did I really throw it all away that night? The night where I slept and woke up feeling so refreshed and reborned. Was it because all these memories disappeared and thus I felt so light?

And of course there’s always that one. My regret. *LOL*

Whatever it is, I guessed its all in the past. I just wished, now, that it would be more smooth sailing for my children in the future.

It’s Every Morning

The same old story… Waking up the sheep. After a while, it really tires me out. Worst still if little milkie throws some tantrums like today. Asked her what she wants to wear for racial harmony the night before since she didn’t want to wear those that I borrowed from her friend. So she decided to choose a dress but when the morning comes, suddenly, she didn’t want to wear that.


My temper is getting shorter.

Not Being There

And then for some reasons, more than half of her classmates’ mummies are not working! What does that means for me? All of them get to join in their activities while I can’t. They get to pick their kids up while I can’t. They get to teach them and spend more time with them while I can’t.

Then I started wondering if I should just quit my job and be a stay-at-home-mom. Of course, that, can never ever be possible…

13 Years of Working

You felt tired. And before you you knew it, you realized that you’ve been working for 13 years already!


From being a test engineer, to a software engineer, then a project manager, and then into governance and system administrator, and now, in HR. How I have changed.

In Childcare

It’s the third day of start of new week and the teacher called to tell me that little milo had fell down and cut his lips.

Another sigh.

Sometimes, when one don’t have a choice, but to have to simply send their kid to a childcare, and pray hard that the kid will be well taken care of. My heart goes out to those whose kid got abused during the care. I do hope nothing of sort will ever happen, not just to my child, but to every kid.

Keeping Everyone Busy

And then you stop and wonder… why is everyone kept so busy?

Last week, today, I was out with 2 great friends, drinking and catching up. Today, the lil’ hub is out. It’s a Friday. And I spent the last 2 days on course, filling up my head with information. It seems a little overload, especially after today’s test. I am glad it’s over and I’m back home.



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Ramblings – Manual Work = More Mistakes

10.02am – I’m not trying to rant. Okay fine, maybe I am. To be doing manual checkings with a splitting headache is not a good way to start the day. I really wondered why am I in this job doing everything so manually. It’s only 3 months and I’m having some resentment. Not because of the colleagues but more of the way in how it’s being done.

Simple things are being made complicated. Mess, mess and mess. It doesn’t help when my own room is in one and I had to go to the office to face another mess, a different kind though.

Sigh… maybe I should stop my pokemon-ing and get enough rest. Will that help?

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Ramblings – School Holiday is Over

7.56am – Bling! It’s officially over!! I meant the school holiday. *LOL* Oh well, it doesn’t really affect me, I’m still working and I’m on my way to work after a noisier morning compared to the rest as it’s the first day my little milkie took the school bus, which means an earlier waking up time for my parents. I’m not really affected again as I woke up earlier, not by default, but by forcing myself.

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Ramblings – Bottle-less & Arrowed

7.50am – It felt like thousands of arrow had been shot at me earlier on, suddenly, when my RO asked me to sit in for her for all her 3 meetings today because she fell sick. *strike off the earlier plans that I had made in my head for myself*

It wasn’t really that bad, to be truthful. The worst thing came when I’m already nearing my bus stop and attempted to take a big sip of water, and realised that I had forgotten to take my bottle out *shock*. I brought a bag without my bottle… had I not walk over to take the piece of bread first to munch, I would have gone directly to the bottle… my bad…


And no, I don’t have a spare bottle in my office, and I hated using cups because I need to keep on walking around. Darn.

I am dehydrating on the bus… and if you noticed that my ramblings running numbers stopped, that’s because I have decided to go back to cute titles. Or maybe my brain is drying up, so I’m not sure what I’m thinking anymore… whatever… *dried*

6.56pm – As I look out of the window from my seat, the sun begins to set… I wondered, did I make the right decision to come to this department, where I know nuts at all? And when at this time, ALL of my team mates are still here? Hmm… I hope not… I hope not…

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Thoughts – Why Did You Abandon Us?

That was the question, or should it be more of a statement, that was shot at me early this morning…

“Why did you abandon us?”

Two days had passed since I last told my boss that I am tendering. I would say, the atmosphere since then, seems… different. I’m not sure if I’m too sensitive but it does feels that to me. Or maybe it’s just myself, that I’m a little guilty to leave them.

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Ramblings #1198

7.19am – I wouldn’t be sitting on the sofa now, typing away instead of preparing for the day, had I not suddenly have a new idea in my head. I know, it’s dangerous, to add one more item in my endless list of tasks and goals. But I had to jot it down right? After all, it did somewhat looks like a GREAT idea. Hmm… Shall give it some thoughts today…

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Ramblings #1196

9.45am – Early in the morning, puking blood… I no know how to communicate with them anymore…

*After reading one email*
Me: I’ve already shifted the training to 8 Oct, so are you ok?
B: Ok.
Me: Ok then.
B: But we got a training at 9am to 11am, which conflicts with your training.
Me: *Then why the hell did you say ok? In which part is it OKAY?* -.-”’

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