Thoughts – Arrival of Little Milkie

(A not-so-live report of the arrival of little milkie…)

9.48am – Finally decided to get out of the bed and am going to the McDonald’s for breakfast. How is it possible to only have a glass of milk, and last for the whole day until 5-6pm? I’m going to have hot cakes! Eat early, digest early. Yes, that’s it.

11.04am – Am here at Anchorvale’s McDonald, having my last slightly nicer meal for at least a month or so. I still don’t understand how can anyone survive on a glass of milk for 5-6 hours. The doctor is weird… I’ll faint if I do that. Hmm… Should be able to digest by evening right?

11.23am – Off we go now… Think I’m feeling a bit stress, felt some indigestion. Scary… *takes a deep breath*

1.02pm – Sh*t… needles… *closed my eyes* Sh*t…

1.32pm – Am on the drip (for induction) for the past half an hour already. The drip is good. It really triggered the contractions but seems like my cervix just doesn’t want to dilate. So far, after reaching here at Mount Alvernia at about 12pm, I’d been pumped some liquid into my anus to clear the shit in my bowels. Somehow it doesn’t seem totally cleared yet though I went to the toilet once already. I’m having some sensation of shit coming out once again in my stomach now. But then I’m not allowed to go to the toilet as and when I like because of the drip. Oh yes, the drip. The needle that’s now still poked into my left hand. And the whole tube of blood that’s been drawn for the cord blood banking. Well, my left hand hadn’t moved a bit since the nurse (or sister) poked it in, for one simple reason, I am really scare of needles. Closed my eyes the whole time while she poke it in and draw the blood just now.

Contractions are relatively constant now. Pain? A little but still bearable at this moment. Let’s hope the cervix will dilate. Must try not to fight against the dilation… If given a choice, I don’t really want a cesarean…

The lil’ hub did his part by settling all the admin issues already. Nice job! Now he’s trying to settle his parking of the car.

Anyway, the sister said that I look too comfortable for the contractions, which is not a good thing… meaning… I’m still NOT THERE yet… Hmm…

1.49pm – It’s so scary when you are trying to calm yourself down but the lady beside kept shouting “ah” and “ah”. Damn it. Maybe I’ll try and take a nap to stop myself from hearing all these sounds. And the pelvic area is starting to feel a little weird.

2.12pm – Feels as if the menses are here. The pelvic area seems so weak. And every time when there’s a contraction, it feels like the stomach is exploding. Nonetheless, still can cope with the pain now. *Yawn* Sleepy… I wonder how long this is going to take…

And the lady on my left wants to stop her induction and said the doctor never told her anything about it. I think maybe it’s better to leave the decisions to the experts, a.k.a. the doctor, to make things easier?

2.44pm – Another sister just came. She said my contractions are good but my reactions still show that there doesn’t seem to be much dilation. Sigh… It’s already past an hour. At the start, there’s only a dilation of 1cm. Most likely (at this rate), I’ll need to go for a cesarean already?

It really ain’t easy to give birth huh?

And the lil’ hub kept telling me that if I can’t take the pain, then must start the epidural. But I think my cervix is not open yet so I don’t feel anything that’s considered “pain” to me. Let’s see how later…

3.07pm – Feels like constant stomachache but the shit refuses to come out. How long do I have to wait? I’m hungry…

3.29pm – Apparently some blood just flowed out… But the sister said it’s okay. Just a little bit. Call them if the water bag burst. Hmm… is that the so-called “Show”? The lil’ hub went to take his lunch now… *Bored*

3.48pm – Damn it. Think the lady just increased the intensity on the drip. Shit.

4.14pm – Still 1cm. I think I can go directly for a cesarean already… It’s already been 3 hours of drip and I want to faint already. It’s getting quite painful though I hardly make any noise. Wrong, it’s no noise at all… why do I want to let everyone know that I’m in pain? *Let’s suffer in silence*

4.35pm – Hungry. Thirsty. Sleepy. In pain. This is, by far, the WORST combination EVER.

4.50pm – Hmm… The point of pain seems to have shifted down a bit. Nearer to the pelvic area. Will it dilate suddenly to 10cm? *LOL*

5.44pm – Water bag burst. The doctor burst it. Pain like crazy… Got pushed into the delivery ward now and had decided to take the epidural, after trying to bear the pain for the past (almost) 5 hours, and knowing that the pain will be worse than now later on. Anyway, I can’t take the pain anymore.

6.32pm – That is what I called “RELIEF”. Though it’s rather scary (no, I mean really really REALLY scary) but the doctor did make it easier by talking and distracting me. And it’s DEFINITELY worth it to take the epidural. I seriously thank the person who invented it. No idea how I’m going to survive the whole delivery without it. The pain that one experience doesn’t seem to be closed to anything that happens in your everyday life.

Anyway, the doctor had mentioned that he’s going to give little milkie another chance to be delivered naturally since the “Show” had come. And they had burst the water bag and increased the intensity of the drip again. The dilation is still 1cm, sadly, though… Nevertheless, the doctor is going to wait for an hour or so to see the progress. 

Unknown Time – Doctor said it looks good. Dilated at 3cm and there’s a good and high chance that we can go NATURAL! Little milkie! Ganbatte! We can do it!

9.27pm – The pain seems to come back again, especially on the left side. Better get the sister to check. And I’m so freaking thirsty…

11.00pm – It’s 9cm! No wonder I seem to be able to feel it opening and little milkie’s head is pushing on it! Good good! The doctor is coming in at around midnight. I guess most likely she’s going to be a 7-11 baby.

12.10am – The time has come… *Doctor walks in, the midwife preparing the tools*… O.O”’ *Gulp* This is it.

12.37am – Oh my God… is that little milkie on my chest?

(The process…)

I pushed, and I pushed. With the effect of the epidural still in place, I can only feel a little contraction. I was told to take a deep breath and push hard. 3 times, for each contraction. And that’s what I did. Heard that the first push was good, and the doctor can already see the top of her head. And then comes the second, I didn’t have much preparation for it and the push only helped a little. The lil’ hub was beside me, asking me to take a deep breath, hold it and push. I shot him a reply “You want to come and push?”. He kept quiet, the midwife said “Good one”. How would he know what I feel? At the third, and last try, with the help of the vacuum, suddenly, I heard them saying, “the head is out”, and the next, little milkie was pulled out and held into the air, and then thrown into my chest with the umbilical cord still intact. Oh, I can feel the cord coming out from my cervix. Weird feeling.

But, it truly was a wonderful moment and experience.

Little milkie is born, after 40+ weeks of being comfy in my womb, she’s finally out. Luckily it took us less than 20 minutes on the delivery (excluding the induction). One of the nurse was commenting that for first born, it could take up to one hour! *Phew*

Nonetheless, we are really happy that little milkie, our beloved newborn daughter, has arrived into this world, safely and healthily… Life’s going to be really different… 

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