Thoughts – First-Time Mother

Day 1

3.35am – I just finished my first breast feeding. So cute! I mean little milkie is very cute and the feeding, though slightly painful, but it’s quite fun too. But now both my arms are aching from the carrying. Better get some more rest before the next feed.

8.38am – Somehow little milkie just doesn’t seem that hungry. Didn’t really want to open the mouth to latch.

9.19am – The tiredness seeping in again.

(At the end of the day)

Did I just give birth to my adorable beautiful daughter early this morning? Hmm… I think I did… *LOL*

Thoughts and feelings as a first-time mum? Well, let’s just say, I’m still waiting for that idea, which already turned into reality, to seep into my brain after one whole day. It had been very tiring, and fast. Lying on the bed and waiting for her to come out for 12 hours, with the pain and hunger etc. had already drained most part of my energy. And then with the lil’ hub not able to stay and accompany me due to the unavailability of any single (and above) ward, had added on extra pressure. Why? Because I never really knew how to carry a baby, much less breastfeed one. But then, I was just thrown with a newborn baby (my beloved baby), whom I adored so much and couldn’t care any lesser.

Thus, with as little help as I can get, I tried to latch her on and breastfeed her, since I had decided to do it. It was a nice feeling, but relatively painful, actually. It’s just too bad that the lil’ hub wasn’t around to share the moment, and that he wasn’t there to provide me the new support that I needed. But then again, it wasn’t his fault. And so, I just had to persevere and hang in there, while waiting for him to come. *LOST*

Sigh… But little did I know that, he came a little late at almost 11am =.=”’

Would be so much better if he came earlier. He missed at least 2 feeds! Nonetheless, not trying to raise my expectations, at least, HE CAME.

Anyway, movement wasn’t that easy as both my legs are still quite numbed due to the epidural. I could hardly move it, nor get out of the bed, until late afternoon. Furthermore, with the help of a nurse and the lil’ hub. They brought me to the toilet and forced me to pee, which to be honest, I still can’t really feel that urgency yet. And yes, again, it’s due to the epidural.

The wound at the vagina is quite painful, and so is the swollenness near the ass area, which greatly hinders my movement a lot. Thus, I’m almost on the bed for most part of the day. Only adjusting myself either when I need to feed myself or the baby.

Never really had the time to rest during the day because my parents and the MIL were here. And the lady on the bed beside me is damn noisy…

Sigh… still no single ward… which means I’ll be alone again.

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