Thoughts – Hurt, Again.

I don’t have an understanding husband. He simply likes to jump to conclusions especially when it’s related to his mum. “I don’t like her. And it’s all because of her and that’s why I’m not moving back.” I’m not. Just like him, I’m too comfortable back at home with my own mum around. Imagine going back, and if he’s not around, I’ll have to do everything on my own.

I really find him selfish at times. Only thinking about himself and his mum, and ignoring the fact that I might not get used to it, and so will little milkie. Get the facts straight, I stayed in that house for 8 months, little milkie stayed for 0 months and your mum stayed for 1.5 years. Now, you expect us to just get used to it suddenly? With you not around? Should I call this wishful thinking? And not to even mention the fact that half the months I’m there, I’m not happy at all with you not really helping.

The pressure is on me, if by now you still don’t understand… Which I doubt you will ever understand. Its not in your blood.

To top it up. You are the one who mentioned to try going back in mid November, starting with just going back in the afternoon. But now when I mentioned the date, and apparently you have cleaned forgotten about it, it seems like my fault (again) to push the date till so far back. Get the facts right again, I’m the one that’s bringing the topic “when are you bringing us back”, far more often than you do for I really feel like that house doesn’t belong to me anymore. But yet you are the one getting so busy. And then the next expecting the both of us to stay there while you are not around. Do you really want to just throw us back there and bore us while you are out? So now it becomes my fault for not aggressively pushing you to bring us back. *speechless*

“If you keep thinking only like that, then you can forget about the second kid.” Seriously, I think I should be the one contemplating about this idea and not you. And just FYI, my planning and coping of things doesn’t include you at all ever since after my confinement previously. How to? It’s like, you supported me in starting my own business but it’s really purely moral support, and nothing else. Where do I find time to do my things when you are busy doing yours and my mum’s too busy with the household chores. Your attention span is so short on her that she likes to stick to me. How can I even start?

Maybe I should really try and go back, and selfishly just let your mum look after little milkie and see how tired she’s going to be. But you see, provided she takes the initiative to look after. Or else, it’s just me and me again.

And I really don’t understand why you like to say such hurtful words. Maybe I should really just stick to having one child. At least I know she’s got the brains, and not like you, and I know she won’t be, because I’ll be the one teaching and guiding her, and not you.

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