Thoughts – I Screwed Up My Resume

Quite a number of people envied the work I’m doing. Why not? It’s not stressful. I get to go home on time. I look so relax and free everytime. And like what I’d told the lil’ hub on numerous occasion – I felt like I’m a highly paid admin. Indeed, I am one.

Of recent, once again I decided that I need to leave this company since there don’t seem to be any career progression. And my goals of having 2 children while I’m here (since it’s so near) had been achieved. Thus, it’s time to go. Furthermore, the recent change in the organisation structure got me thinking even more. A job that’s stagnant, with increase work load (deployment always cock up), no pay increment (boss had repeated mentioned that there is NO promotion), and no value added (how can a deployment manager only checks documents!!) to the already screwed up resume ain’t going to make me stay.

But alas… it’s not that easy. I have nothing to boast about with my job. It’s a job, not a career. I’m facing the system initially. Subsequently on excels. And then after that just checking on documents. There will be 2 quarters where I’m generally just checking documents. As for the rest, I’m simply doing a bit here, and a bit there. That’s about it. I am a highly paid admin. And who would want a highly paid admin?

I felt like crying now. Even felt more like banging my head. Suddenly I regretted in coming to this kenasai company. I should have left 2 years ago instead of hoping that the changes will be better. It will NEVER be better. There is NO room for growing. It’s stagnant. STAGNANT!

That aside. Internal transfer doesn’t seem possible either. So… I’m stuck. I’m really stuck. I know I shouldn’t give up hope but at this moment, it sucks to feel that your job is totally meaningless (which is somewhat true)…

I can’t take this any longer… *pulls hair*

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