To all the hubs of wives, please be there for your wife especially if she’s not in that good a condition (and more so if she needs to go through that s****d confinement). Don’t just care about yourself and your friends at this moment, they are not the most important in your life (if they are, then something is VERY wrong). Don’t say stupid things. Don’t just focus on the baby. Don’t let your wife feels alone. Your wife needs your love and attention too…
To all the wives of the hubs (especially s****d ones), if he’s not there for you, then at the very least, try to be sane and be there for yourself. If he’s like that now, most likely he will be like that for the rest of your life. So… accept it and get used to it, sadly. All you can do is keep on praying… nagging, will probably only make things worse.
I wrote the following email because I simply don’t feel like talking to the lil’ hub who just assumed that I’m crazy and throwing tantrums. If he wants things to be as is, then let it be then… I’ll try (as usual) to overcome it on my own.
(An email to the S****D lil’ hub of mine)
I wished you had been a bit more sensitive towards my needs during this period when I really needed you. Do you think a weekend is enough?
It’s just 2 more weeks, is that too much to ask?
I’m doing confinement now. I just gave birth to our adorable little baby. But as a first time mum, there’s a lot of things happening and changing both to the environment and my body, so much so it felt a little overwhelming.
I need support. I need love.
But I’m not getting enough.
Any “weird” behaviours that I showed now will be condemned. Alas. Instead of getting more love, I’m being condemned, and left alone, very alone. It makes things worse. A request to come and accompany me daily is considered as demanding.
Don’t you not know your importance to me, especially at this moment?
Don’t you know your presence, a hug or a kiss from you can mean so much to me? The kind of support that was unknowingly given to me?
I look at our baby, and recalled on those hurtful words that you said that day. Ouch. I’m being incorrigible again. But I have no energy to be that superwoman that you want… to be that girl who tries to handle as many things as possible…
I’m sorry. But I do feel alone… and a little depressed… and probably a little demanding on your scale.
I’ll try to back off and handle it on my own with my parents’ help from now on… I’m sorry.
Lastly, really appreciate those times when you are here with me… They meant a lot…