Thoughts – Last Day of Maternity Leave

12 weeks. Gone just like that. And today marks the last day of my maternity leave. Wow. How time flies yet again.

Lots of things went through my mind for the past week as I prepared myself mentally to head back to work. The preparation wasn’t much of a help though as there’s simply too many pending items to be done. And the “sightings” yesterday just made it a lot worse. Moreover, there’s the cute little milkie that I won’t be seeing until at night after I come back from work. Tons of TO-DO’s. How?

Yet at the same time, it will definitely end the naggings that’s happening almost every single day back at home. Which, somehow will provide some peace…

But then… what about the things at work? I haven’t even take a look at those emails! Oh my…

And now, I can’t seem to let my thoughts flow out, as it got stuck in my head, like the milk that got stuck in my breast. Damn. The stress that I’m feeling now sure knows how to interrupt all these flows. Sigh…

What now? I don’t know. Shall try and take things one at a time…

Work. Can’t do much until tomorrow and see if my boss needs me to do anything urgent. Otherwise I’ll probably be spending my time clearing the emails and catching up with the differences for the past 12 weeks. And also to adjust my timing for the pumping.

Baby. She’s of utmost importance at this point. Will try and spend more time with her at night, since that’s the only time where I get to see her, other than the weekends. And of course, the breast milk. I’m still not giving up and am trying to increase the supply amidst the fatique and frustrations, and what now.

Health. I’m quite sure mine is deterioating. Aches and pains occurring almost everywhere from the shoulder to the back, and then my knee cap. Even the fingers felt as if there’s some needles piercing at it at times.

Personal. Am still definitely keen on building up my mind, and keeping up with all my interests. Though I’d failed times and again, one shouldn’t give up just like that. Determination is the keyword. I believe I will succeed some day.

House. Crap. This is definitely the most crappy part. TMD. I’m not over it YET. And our plan of getting a condominium for our next house? HAH! Honestly, I don’t feel like getting it now. What’s the point of spending so much money when someone makes you feel like you are living in a dump, or worst, degraded?! TMD. Closing both eyes doesn’t even help. I still feel like kicking her out of the house and back to her beloved house.

Finance. Have to try and stop spending so much, and save some money. Then will think of investment or… hmm… Hey, the word is “TRY” like what my friend always say.

Pleasure. I want to go on tour!!! And where’s my HONEYMOON??!!!! Sigh…

*Baby starting to cry in background*

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