Thoughts – “Used to be”

No, I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. That wasn’t my intention. I was only trying to have a peaceful and quick meal before my class starts. But the uncle sitting just 2 seats away from me, simply said it too loud. And then he kept on repeating it, in broken but understandable English, to the lady sitting opposite him.

“No, I checked it with at least 5 lawyers, including the Singapore Government lawyer. And I even had to wait half of a day for him. And I checked with a lot of my friends too. It’s Singapore rule. If 2 person is agreeable, then it’s immediate. Else you have to separate for 3 years.”

That, caught my attention.

A divorce case. Is it because of the lady that’s sitting opposite him? I’m not too sure. But what makes it interesting, or rather sad, was the fact that he mentioned that he’s with the wife for 4 years, and the first 3 years was extremely good. The best, he would say, among his friends, and that nobody can compare his relationship between he and his wife for the first 3 years. And then, all these became “used to be” on the 4th. Suddenly his tone changed, and then all he could said was “I also don’t know what happened.”

Yesterday I had a dinner with a friend, she too, mentioned that her friend is starting to behave a little kind of weird in front of her husband. To me, it’s as if she’s trying to get his attention. Maybe, just maybe, there’s something wrong with the marriage for she used to be not like that. A marriage that used to be happy but probably is not now. Salvage? There probably isn’t. Don’t tell me the solution is to have a baby (if it’s a marriage). That is not a solution, that is just a distraction.

The phrase “used to be”, somehow always almost will create some sadness in a person. Why? Because most of the time, it was used in cases where “happy” becomes “sad”. And all one could do at that point, is only to reminiscence on the happy moments. Yes, it might bring a brief moment of smile onto one’s face but it will soon fade away, and some heart aches might occur.

Maybe we should all pray that people used this phrase more often when something bad becomes good.

A rather important friend once look at me, and said “You used to look so happy.” I was dumbfounded. I’m not sure where is he now. The last I know, he was in Sydney. Hope someday, I’ll hear from him again.

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