Thoughts – Talking Behind ‘A’ Back

We were walking towards the car, on our way out for our dinner. The lil’ hub was talking to his mum, trailing behind me. I wasn’t really listening even though my MIL’s voice was a little too loud for me to ignore. But then it was something that she said, that caught my attention.

“Never let the MIL look after the grandkids and put into nursery.”

“Not filial.”

“So old and still working.”

Ah… I finally got it…

Apparently the lil’ hub was asking his mum if she’s alright with doing a part-time job, since she seems to be extremely free and not really fully utilizing her time well. Other than being stuck at home most of the time doing household chores, she’s reading a novel (a little too much). We did have a short discussion before that and I recommended that the MIL should probably do some light part-time job just to kill her time, which is better than her stoning at home, as it may results in her becoming senile.

So the lil’ hub asked his mum and the mum started to tell him that previously, some auntie told her that there’s another auntie who seems very pitiful because her son wasn’t that filial. Why? Firstly, the son didn’t let her look after the grandkid and send him/her to a nursery instead. Secondly, they rather employed a maid than to let the mum do the household chores and give money to her. Thirdly, the son told her that he’s not giving her any allowance, and thus she had to go out and work.

With regards to the above… I started to wonder… if my MIL is feeling that we are unfilial towards her. Why?

(1) Gosh. I’m not letting her look after her grandkid either because I’m going to get my parents to look after. Then how? Is that unfilial to her? But if I let her look after, then how about my parents (if I were to have that kind of mindset)? Anyway, my reason for not letting her look after is just that I felt safer in my parents’ hands, since they are slightly more experience.

(2) Well, we never employ any maid, but yes, she’s doing the household chores, though not really up to my standards. Nonetheless, the lil’ hub did bring up a point saying that they might not want to treat her as a maid, WHICH I do agree to a certain extent. I mean… like my case… I can’t say anything but yet I felt stuck… you know what I mean?

(3) The lil’ hub brought up another point too – maybe after getting the maid and paying for the nursery, they really don’t have much money left? But hey, mum, we are not asking you to work because you don’t have enough money, but to ‘kill’ off your extra time instead!

But do you know what? All of the above are totally NOT IMPORTANT because all I wanted to say was… actually… my MIL is afraid of people talking behind her back… sadly…

I knew that a long time ago but she just re-affirmed everything. Why? Why bother what people think or say? Or is it because you had been talking bad things about other people behind their back, such that you are afraid it’ll be your turn now? But does it matter? Would you KNOW? NO! Because they are talking BEHIND YOUR BACK, just like you were talking BEHIND THEIR BACK!

*LOL* I’m not pissed. I just find the whole thing amusing. I mean, I did talk behind people’s back. Who doesn’t? I’m quite sure people talked behind my back too but seriously, does it matter? Whatever you do, the most important thing is to be happy and please about it YOURSELF, and not for others, isn’t that supposed to be the case? Or are you going to do EVERYTHING according to what others think? If that’s the case, then honestly, I think you are living an extremely sad life.

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