“I could feel the rage building up. Why?! I asked myself times and again, that I’m always a step behind in everything. WHY!! And why does it always have to be the SAME!
It had been eons ago but yet nothing changes. I’m never ahead. Much as I tried but I am still lagging behind, just a step behind.
Now that the green eyed monster had come back. How can I tamed it?”
Let’s just say that there is this someone from a long time ago, who somehow made me lost much of my confidence level, and of whom I am a little jealous with thanks to the relatively good management of time. And who made me felt pissed every now and then for the things that was done for it was also things that I am going to do.
I am not following the steps. It’s steps that are what I have planned but yet similar to hers. And lots of it! It’s irritating because it looks as if I am trying to imitate but actually it is not!
I know I should have stopped but something kept drawing me to it… breathe… just breathe… and let it go…
A friend asked me to stop… Looks like I really have to, in order for me to truly move on…