I feel you. I feel your pain. It will take a long while to heal. To hear that little heart beating and then later to know that you ain’t going to hear it anymore.
Just a few days difference, and I got to know of 2 cases of miscarriage. The heart beat just stopped by itself due to some defected hormones. And these are not just the only 2 cases that I knew of. Why did God give and yet take them away eventually?
It seems a little common, sadly, nowadays. Is it because of the stress level that everyone is experiencing? Or due to the food (which you have no idea) that we are eating? Radiation? Air?
I seem to be more of the fortunate ones. To be preggy only after 2 months of trying (while I’ve got friends who tried for years, and in vain). I’m really very glad that little milkie is fine and well, and is happily enjoying herself everyday (at least I think so). And I do hope very much that this will continue forever.
Recalling on the period when she’s still in me. I can’t help but felt a little stressful and worried, especially if she seems to stop kicking as much as she used to (when I’m conscious about it). Thankfully, she never gave me much chance to worry on that as she seems to keep telling me that she’s happily playing inside with all her wrigglings, kickings and punchings (or maybe it’s just way too squeezy). It was also definitely a joy to see her finally out as Dr Ching held her in the air and tried to entangle the ambilical cord. Wow… that’s almost 11 months ago.
Am I going to go through that again? You bet! But as for when… well, let’s just say, we’ll probably wait for at least half a year more. For now, I just want to spend more time with little milkie before I start to make little milo (or little cookie). And of course, I’ll need to do a time check too. I’m not exactly that young anymore and I don’t really want to hit the “slightly-dangerous-age”. That’s like, another 2 more years.
So for now, I guess I’ll probably need to start “tuning” my body soon. TCM, that’s what I’ll recommend (minimum 3 months). At least, it somehow seems to work for me and my girlfriend who got preggy at about the same time. I’ll start seeing the TCM once I stop breastfeeding next month, so that my milk won’t be affected in anyway. And then keep away from “cold” food. For the rest, I’m not abstaining from it. As for method wise, it’s a lot easier if you have regular menses. Just try once every 3 days after your menses ended, for 2 weeks. And don’t stand up right after it ended. It’s physics here, let gravity help you too! As for gender, I’m not calculating on that since to me, it’s destined – based on you and your spouse’s birth character (bazi).
May the force and God be with you, and with me too.
Lastly, to all the little heart beats, it might not be the right time this time. But eventually, it will be.