“I used to earn more than him, and I’m better than him. But now he’s earning more than me, and I’m still stuck here with no prospects.”
“What?? He has become a regional manager? How could that be? My results were so much better than him!”
Does all these sounds familiar to you? Once, probably your best friend, but the next, you are deemed a competitor.
I had a looooong chat with the lil’ hub just now. It’s about one of his rather good friend, whom somehow was greatly affected after knowing that the lil’ hub earns more than he does now. I did told the lil’ hub a while ago that this would be the case if he lets him know his salary, but just didn’t know he really take it in so hard on himself.
You see, that friend of his, B, is a few years older than the lil’ hub, and had always been earning more than him. And he’s the sort who likes to “show-off”. So for example, before he gotten his driving license, he already bought a car (of which at that point, that circle of friends, he’s the second to get a car, and bigger than the other friend). He bought a 5-room flat when he and his wife’s salary are just enough to cover the monthly installment. When I gotten the lil’ hub a Mont Blanc wallet (genuine), he went to get a fake one. Got a fake Rolex too. So basically, he just want to let people know that whatever things he get or do, are good. Sad.
Now, after knowing the numbers that my lil’ hub is receiving every month (it’s actually not a lot), which is about 20% more than what he is earning, he felt unbalance. Furthermore, my lil’ hub’s a permanent staff while he’s still under contract (different companies). And 2 other friends might be leaving for better opportunities while he’s not given that opportunity. His brother-in-law is doing quite well and had been psycho-ing him to buy a condominium. And blah blah blah… In short, somehow, the people around him seems to be slowly doing better and better than he is…
He felt unbalanced. He thinks that he’s better than a lot of them, and should be given the opportunity but yet he’s not, and not even given a permanent position. He’s not doing anything, much, now, other than whining about the unfairness. And now nobody seems to be able to talk him out about not getting a condominium first.
Sometimes, somewhere in your life, such things happened and you have no idea why… You just start to compare with your friends. It’s good if it’s healthy, like an ex-colleague of mine who said that he kept on “catching up” with the other guy, but still remain as good friends. It spurs him to push himself more, “to be better than him”.
Humans are weird. Things can actually be very simple, but yet they like to make it complicated. You could jolly well just wish your friends well and be happy for them when they are doing good. But instead of that, jealousy and envy took control of you, and all that’s in your head is just “he can’t be better than me”.
See the difference on that 2 phrases? One sounded a lot more negative than the other.
Anyway… let’s hope he will wake up from his non-sense, and push himself in a more positive way.