I guess almost everyone who held a wedding lunch/dinner, or is intending to, will more or less have this problem. And yes, I have lots. I really mean LOTS – just on the sitting arrangement itself.
Interesting? Oh yes, it “sure” is and I didn’t know about it until now, or, recently, to be more precise.
So come, let’s take a look at the things that’s causing and giving me the headaches and frustrations. And beware, this post is going to be a bit long.
CASE 1: The number of tables
A: Yes yes, I want this X number of tables.
B: You sure?
A: Yes, very very sure.
Alright. So that’s more or less it. X number of tables. So happily, things just proceed until suddenly, when it’s the actual counting of guests (which supposedly should already been done during the estimation of the tables), things changed…
A: Erm… I need X + 1 number of tables instead.
That’s where you need to think of a solution and clear up the mess.
CASE 2: Good seats
A: I want tables with good views, don’t give me all the lousy tables.
B: Yes, I also want tables that are in front. You can put your friends at the back.
C: I need this group of people to have good views, else it won’t be nice.
Great. You want this. And you want that too. And so do you. So HOW about MINE? It seems like I don’t really have much of a choice. Do I?
CASE 3: Different gangs
A: Yes, I’ll be going but can you don’t put me with B in the same table?
B: Okay, sure, I’ll be there but I don’t think I want to sit with A.
C: I’m not too sure… Don’t really want to see D there…
E: Okay, 4 person but we don’t want to sit with F.
G: By the way, E and F can’t sit with D either. And so is H and I. And H cannot be with…
See… I’ve only got X + 1 number of tables in TOTAL. And there’s only that Y number of tables where you can permutate among whoever that I can mix you all with. And after all, the wedding dinner venue isn’t really that BIG enough for you to hide or don’t see each other. So… WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! Make me pissed off, I’ll make sure all of you sit in the same table. *inner peace*
CASE 4: Last minute arrangement
A: I’m not sure if C is going to be there…
B: What do you mean “not sure”?
A: That day C said D will be sending her there.
B: Erm… can’t you ask now and confirm? I can’t afford to add in any more seats since it’s the max for every table. And even if so, the food might not be sufficient.
A: Huh! No no! The food cannot be not enough!
B: Yes, I know, so I can only put D in other tables where he don’t know those people if he were to turn up.
A: No no! You can’t do that!
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?! Can’t you just freaking ask and confirm before the wedding dinner instead of happily have a last minute arrangement which you will definitely end up not happy, and neither will I (because I’m not going to bother about how you feel or think on that night).
CASE 5: Chinese traditions
A: No, cannot! The big uncle must sit in the VIP table.
B: Right, but it’s not logical to put all the youngsters and kids in one same table.
A: But the uncles must sit in the VIP table.
C: The big uncle already refused to sit in the VIP table, doesn’t that already broke the “rules”. And even if you were to really follow, aren’t you supposed to get D’s side?
B: Shh… Ignore A. Don’t care already.
Everything you say is correct. Everything that I say will be considered as disrespect. What are Chinese traditions? Is it really that important? Because you ain’t following the whole thing either. And for goodness sake, do you know who are the ones that will suffer more because of these so-called traditions? It’s not you. It’s me and my other half.
And WHY do I bother to do these sitting arrangements? Where’s the other guy who’s supposed to help?