That was the question, or should it be more of a statement, that was shot at me early this morning…
“Why did you abandon us?”
Two days had passed since I last told my boss that I am tendering. I would say, the atmosphere since then, seems… different. I’m not sure if I’m too sensitive but it does feels that to me. Or maybe it’s just myself, that I’m a little guilty to leave them.
I know, I did left them. It’s the truth. At times like that, I tendered. But… every man for himself (at times), right? What do you expect me to do when…
(1) Despite the fact that I took 2 maternity leaves during a period of 4 years, there wasn’t much progression in my career at all.
(2) There won’t be any salary increment nor promotion next year no matter how good my performance is or if I’m due for it.
(3) If by giving the “deployment manager” role to me, is actually helping me to move up, then I beg to differ. For by only giving the role and not through monetary is like giving me more sh*t with the same salary.
(4) I don’t see much value added to my already very messy looking resume with the new role.
(5) I have 2 kids and a new house probably soon. I need to earn more.
(6) I’m so lagging behind my peers in terms of salary. And the younger friends are all catching up to me. I don’t feel balance.
(7) It’s the last time that I can try to change and adjust. After that, with my age, it might be a bit more difficult.
With all these push factors, I made my choice. But again, I didn’t deliberately abandon them because of the following.
(a) The project was deployed with a lot of problems and thus to avoid all these sh*ts, I left. No. I wouldn’t mind clearing sh*ts that I started (partly).
(b) The company will retrench again, I need to save my ass. No. I don’t mind getting retrenched and get that lump sum of money. In fact, I would love it if I’m one of them.
(c) More sh*ts are coming, run for your life! No. I had already started searching before I knew about the retrenchment of people that backs me up.
All and all… it could be because of the reshuffling, but never because I want to shirk responsibilities. I need to move on for better career progression and $$$$$. That’s about it. It’s about money.