You Think I Don’t Want To?

Steady boyfriend… Thats always the happiest thing to me. The first thing I want to let my mum know. Why am I not doing it now? You think I don’t want to? Sorry… I wanted to tell her so much but I just couldn’t… after what I had done. I felt so guilty. Guilty towards YT. It isn’t his fault at all but he had to bear the consequences. He don’t have any choice at all. He can only accept it. But I can’t turn back. I don’t want to. I don’t want that kind of life again. But at the same time, I can’t bring myself to hurt him even more. So I do it slowly… can’t I? Why does every guy wanted everything to be settled so fast? Why? If its so not tolerable, then why be with me?? If they want to be with me, why can’t they just let me do it slowly? *CRY* Why? I wanted so much to bring him home…

Slept only for 2 hours.. I’m more than tired with my eyes still slightly puffed up. Why do I love him so much? All I can think of is him now… Meeting and settling everything with YT tomorrow. Finally… I’m so tired…

Back at home. Heehee… Very happy ‘cos… Everything clear between me and WZ! So happy! Just now went to his house for dinner. Then we sang and recorded the song “Way Back Into Love”. So sweet! Today whole day at work, so busy, and so pissed! SK asked me do this. LL said another thing. Sigh… This here, there that… Want to go nuts already… So tired… I need to sleep…

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